Relationships

I started to read the novel "The Shack" by William Young. I wasn't sure what to expect but I am beyond happy that I started reading it. The point where I am at, the main character Mack is talking to the Trinity. At one point I think it is either the God figure or Jesus figure that says this about relationships that made me think...he said: Relationships are never about power, and one way to avoid the will to power is to choose to limit oneself - to serve.

The context of that comment was that Mack was amazed that the three could have a conversation without one trying to be the boss. I think too often like Mack in the story thinks God is the boss of the Holy Spirit and Jesus, but that isn't the case. But that quote made me think of not only my relationship with God, but earthly ones. In a relationship with God we don't want to have power over God, but there are people that do want to try and have power over him. They want God to do the things they want and how they want it. They try to mold God into something he isn't. So to avoid trying to have power over God...we serve Him. We go out and do the things that he wants us to do...we listen to him and be obediant.

As far as earthly relationships, what good does it do to try and gain power over the one you love? That turns into what would feel like a controlling relationship and honestly no body wants to be in a relationship like that. Nate and I were talking the other night and he said something that made me think and I agree with: he said that a relationship is a partnership. I agree with that because that means one person does not have power over the other, we're equal in our relationship. That is how we should view our relationship with Christ: a partnership.

How do you know

It has been posed to me before, and recently..how do you know God is talking to you. Or rather the question I have been asked has been how do you know someone is the one, but let's go with how do you know God is talking to you. Is it a feeling of "just knowing" or "having the feeling." Sometimes I think we want realistics, definites with everything including God, but that really isn't the case is it. How can we have a definite answer to knowing if God is speaking to us without actually hearing his voice in our ears.

I mean is it something within our hearts or something we really won't know until we die and get to ask God if he was talking to us at a specific point in our lives. How we know if something we want is what God wants from us or wants us to do. How do we know our own feelings and desires aren't influencing how we feel when we think God is trying to tell us something or do something...or to go somewhere. This is something weird for me to be struggling with, but since it has been posed to me a few weeks ago, I have been wondering it myself. How do we really know when God is speaking to us? Sadly the only answer I have is that we really don't know for sure until we met God in heaven.

Judging

This is a very special friend: Nate. You may not be able to see it in the picture, but he has purple hair, slight gauges in his ears, tongue ring, a few tattoos, and a certain attitude towards the world and people around. It is basically he doesn't care if you don't like him because he is who he is. That is part of why I get along with him so well and I enjoy his company. I mention my dear friend for a reason. He gets judged all the time. People take one look at him and have a certain image with him and thought about him and who they THINK he is. The thing is people do the same with everyone. People look at me and have a certain image. People see us together walking in the mall, and I can only imagine what they think.

The River of Life's motto is "judge no one minister to all" what we believe is that you do not judge anyone for any reason. Too often we are quick to judge someone based on their appearances like people do with my dear Nate here, but they don't really know who he is or what kind of person he is. They don't take the time to get to know him which is something we need to do. God loves us no matter who we are, what we do, or more importantly what we look like. Who are we to judge other people? Aren't we all basically the same inside with the same emotions and feelings? So why should we treat each other differently?

Recently there was someone judging him as well as myself based on things he thought he knew. Sure he may have been right on a few things, but he was wrong on so many other things. He didn't give Nate the time to see who he was and obviously in my mind this person didn't take the time to really get to know me. We are quick to judge someone when they don't fit into our little world and image of what people should be like or how they should act. We put expectations on people before we even met them. For some reason that just sounds so wrong to me. God doesn't put unrealistic expectations on us, so why should we place them on others or even ourselves?

You look up at the picture I have posted and tell me what do you think before you even know the man in the picture. You look at me and what do you think. When you look and begin to judge think about how would others look at you and what would they judge you based on? After spending a large amount of time with Nate I see the wonderful person that he is inside and out. I see his heart, personality and other things you don't see when you simply just look at him.

Past Experiences

Many of us have gone through different trials and tribulations throughout life and many times those things shape who we are and strengthen our faith in God. Other times our past experiences can destroy our future relationships. Too often we let the past affect how we react to situations we are dealing with now. Sometimes that is helpful because we all learn from past experiences, but other times you cannot base a situation on what happened in the past. You can learn how to deal with it through faith and trust in God, but when you treat every situation the same, the result will always be the same.

God gives us hardships and experiences to teach us things. And I think sometimes we don't really pay attention to what God could be teaching us, which is probably why we treat many situations the same when they are not. Sometimes we can handle them the same when the way of handling hardships is putting our trust and faith in God and pray about the things we deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes we let those hardship come in the way of not only our relationships with each other, but our relationships with God.

A lot of the time we think we can handle the hardships on our own and not turn to Him for help or even see His love as being powerful enough to see us through it all. When we foresee or try to foresee what will happen we forget that God's hand is in everything.

Hardships

There are times in life when we need to go through different hardships to grow closer to God and see how strong our faith in God truely is. Just because we go through one hardship doesn't mean another one won't come at some point. I am dealing with something right now that seems so incrediblly hard. I know what could harder than beating cancer? I mean nothing seems that hard, but there are things that are hard to deal with. Just because I went through cancer and came out on the other end healthy doesn't mean I will be able to be immune to pain and hardships. And I think there are people out there who think that when they deal with some sort of hardship they won't deal with something so hard again. Or when they go through a hardship like divorce or the lose of a loved one, they let it affect their future with people who love them dearly.

Sometimes we will never know what goes through another person's mind so why should we try to figure out what is in God's mind when we deal with the hardships in life? Why do we try to predict what God will do and when he will do it? When we try to do that we will surely fail in anything we set to do when we try to predict what would happen. Many times we need to go through the motions and deal with everything one day at a time. We need to have fair in Christ and believe that no matter what happens he will be there to see us through the problems we face each and every day. When we sit there and try to think of things that would be hard to deal with it's only inevitable that we will start actually looking for them in our lives and then we become paranoid and like I said destroys ourselves. It destroys the relationships around us and in turn begins to eat away at our relationship with God.

The point of a hardship isn't to sit there and ponder about then and try to figure out what they will be, when they will happen, and whether or not we will be able to deal with them. We would slowly lose our faith and trust in God. That is never what we need or should do. It would damage our relationship with Christ. We need to do everything we can to build on it instead of harm it.

Appearances

Sometimes we make quick judgements on people based on how they look or even where they work, how they act, what they do and other things like that. God doesn't want us to be judging others for any reason. Some people are just different in different ways some of us could have purple hair while others will have tattooes and others will dress a certain way. That doesn't mean we are any different from each other or anything like that. Doesn't make anyone better or worse than another.

I have a friend who gets judged by how he looks and sometimes by what he does for a living. But since I know him fairly well, I know the type of person he is and I know he is a good guy with a great heart. Sure he has purple hair, gauges in his ears, dresses a certain way and acts a certain way, but it honestly doesn't make him less of a person. He has already stated one of the best things about me is that I don't judge him, I still want to be his friend.

Why do we sit and judge others based on different things about who they are? We know nothing of the person, yet we judge. Do we honestly think as Christians that judging others makes a point or makes us seem like a good person? If anything it makes us come across as not a Christian. That is one reason why I love my church because our motto is Judge No One Minister To All; that is something we all need to live by.

In a Box

Pastor Marvin said something at one of the Bible studies that has made me think. HE said that many times we try to keep God in a box. He is right too often we try to keep God in the small box and only let him out when we want him in our lives instead of keeping him at our sides throughout life. What good does it do to keep God in this box? WE need to let him out and experience him in our lives.

We don't want to admit that we need God or that we do not have control over our own lives. How can we do anything for God if we don't let him out of his box? Everyone talks about living and thinking outside of the box, yet we won't let God think outside the box for our lives, and why? Are we afraid to see where God will take us? Are we too afraid to let God work in our lives because there is that small part of us that doesn't want him too even though we constantly say we do? I know somethings I will admit that I put God in a box, and when I do my life goes downhill and all kinds of nastiness occurs. But when God is out of the box things are better and I can feel his presence more.

We need to keep God out of that box!

Making God Real

Pastor stated in his sermon last Sunday and in the past week, that he has been saying a simple sentence during his prayer time. It is something we all could say and even say it once or twice during the day when we aren't in a specific prayer time. The sentence is simple, only ten words: Lord I need you to be real in my life. Too often we don't allow God to be real enough in our lives. What I mean is that we like to think of God just sitting up in Heaven looking down on us and answering or not answering prayers. We don't let him have full reign in our lives and have control over everything. That is something we NEED to have.

We need to say the same thing that pastor has been saying. I need you to be real in my life God. I need you...How can we live for God if we don't allow him or ask him to be real in our lives? How can we truly serve God at our best if we don't ask him to be real for us? When God is real in our lives it becomes easier for us to be disciplined in praying, reading, and it will be easier for us to tithe, and give of our time; at least that is what I think.

Thanksgiving

Today as we all know is Thanksgiving! Woohoo Turkey, mashed potatoes and a whole bunch of other food. This is basically the time of year when we get together and eat til our hearts content, then sleep for hours because of all the turkey. But we also give thanks for the things we have, but we tend to thank each other, do we really thank God and give him praise on this day of thanks?
Today if not every other day of our lives we need to be thanking God all day long for the things that He has blessed us with. He has granted us so many things throughout life that we need to thank Him for, yet too often we neglect to do so. So in the spirit of giving thanks...I praise and thank God for:

My good health this year
My family and friends
Bringing Todd into my life
Bringing a good job my way even if it is for the season
Giving me shelter and food to eat and clothes on my back
I thank him for my education and the talents He has given me
For simply waking up each day
Helping me through some of the toughest moments of my life
Answering and not answering prayers

The list could go on, but you get the idea. We need to start thanking God more and more for the things we have in life, not just when we "remember" to do so. We need to do it all the time, everyday possibly all day. I mean it's not that hard to wake up in the morning and say "thank you God" or before we go to bed. Or while at work say "thank you for this day" simple! Takes a second or so. Not a drastic lose of time right? Who says thanking God should take hours on end? Thank you God for every blessing you have granted me in my life.

Friends

Throughout life we meet different people who become known as either mere aquaintences or a good close friends. It's a different times in our lives when certain friends show how important they are to you, or rather God shows you how important they are to you. I have had many people come in and out of my life who said they were friends and in turn weren't, and there are those who are more than friends, those who are like family who you would die for.

I have to admit I have not been the greatest of friends lately and I wish I was and I will do my best to change and call my friends more and let them know how they mean to me. I regret lossing contact with many of my friends, or I haven't talk to them in ages and I feel terrible about it. I mean I know God put my friends in my life for a reason, and like I said I would die for many of them. They are family. Donya is my sister, and I have started viewing John (todd's friend) as my brother and see myself getting protective of him.

We had to do a team building thing at our board meeting yesterday for church...it was something along the lines of "i wish i could more like so and so in these ways" and I ended up with Joey, who I see as a friend I cherish. As I thought about it I realized there were things not only in Joey that I admire and wish I was more like, but my other friends. So here are some:

I wish I was more like Joey because he has such passion and desire for Christ. He has been through a lot and has such faith in God that is amazing for someone his age (our age). He is just a great guy to have as a friend.

I wish I was more like Donya in her kindness and compassion for others. She is one of the most caring women I know and I admire her a great deal. I have learned so much from her and have learned more about myself because of her.

Then there is Tom....Tom could fit in with any crowd. He can make anoyone laugh and is very hard to not like him. I wish I could have the charisma that he has. I wish...I was more like Todd because he has such a cast knowledge of the Bible and other things, way more than I could ever imagine having, just like Pastor Marvin and PAstor Paul do.

And John. Though I just met John, there are things about him that I wish I had. I has a great passion for his talents as a musician. He won't let anything take his passion away and he uses that passion for his talents to honor and glorify God. I truely admire that.

God brings people into our lives to help us grow in many ways. I see ways that I can grow just from having these people and others in my life whom I consider the greatest of friends, even if I don't call them that often. There are others I admire and who have things I wish I had, but if I included them all this blog would be HUGE!...I want them to know that I do cherish their friendships and there are three or four in my head right now who I am thinking about. GOd gives us friends and family for a reason. We need to cherish them and not take advantage of them or their kindness and love for us. We need to let them know how much we appreciate them and that is what this entry is about. I appreciate everyone in my life.

Talents

God gave us all different talents to use, and most of the time we can use those talents to give glory and honor to him. We each have different talents, some can draw, others can speak, and some can write along with so many other talents around the world. No matter what our talents are, we should use them for the glory of God.

Sometimes we are unsure of how to use our talents for God while other times the churches and people we are around can help us see how to best use our talents. I have to say I am thankful for my church. I have never been able to use my talents for the glory of God the way I can at the River of Life. I am inspired by my pastors (which is the point right). I am driven more. Sure I have written things about my faith and used my faith in different projects in college and other aspects of my life, but with ROL I can use my talents in different ways. More fulfilling ways, ways that I feel God is happy about.

That brings me to a question: How do we know for sure that our works are making God happy? How do we know if our talents are really honestly truely bringing glory and honor to God? Or are we falling too short sometimes?

Fear

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I have been thinking about where I want my life to go as far as job wise and there are so many different things that I want to do and be a part of, but there are times when I am scared about where it could lead me. I know God wants me to work with children in some way, what way I am not sure and I am afraid that I will not be able to figure out what God wants me to do with my life and the gifts He has granted me. The fear has really stopped me in my tracks and I haven't gone forward with anything. I keep second guessing my choices and where I want to go from here (which is why I haven't registered for the test yet pastor).

Fear can hinder us and cause us to stall in our walk with God, and I find myself kind of stalling in different aspects. Lately I haven't been writing in my book because I have a fear that no one would want to buy it or publish it for that matter. Some of the best ways to get over fears is to pray and talk to God about it and I have been doing that, but it seems so hard sometimes doesn't it? I don't want my fears of what the future could hold to take away my focus from God, The Bible and praying. And I don't udnerstand my fears at this point, I just want to be able to do what God has planned for me, so all I can do is put it all in his hands and pray it will work out the way He wants it to, and if it is in his hands then it should work out for the purpose of God right?

Wednesday Nights

Wednesday Night we genreally have Bible Study at my church and every other week is a prayer meeting. Like this past week it was prayer meeting, then next week is study, then prayer meeting and so on. There were many prayer requests but we also had many praises! IT was great to see the praises on the powerpoint screen. Pastor Marvin mentioned having a huge piece of glass fall on his wrist, but it didn't cut him or anything, just hurt a little; God had a hand there. My cousin Kristopher was in a car accident totalled the car (his baby mind you) driver side door gone, mirror gone, speaker gone. Kristopher walked away unscathed; he was unhurt. We need to be praising God for all the good things.

Sure God wants us to ask him for help during out hard times, but that doesn't mean we should ignore when he answers prayers or protect us from harm. God is always active in our lives and many times we don't even realize it. One of my favorite songs by Hillsong called Solider says at one point "You need to open up your spiritual eyes" and that is what we need to do!. We need to open our eyes and realize how active in our lives God is and what it means to have a personal relationship with him.

Reading

There may be times when we need something good to read or we hear of a great book, but can't seem to find it. In the store I work at many people come in looking for a certain Christian author and we unfortunately don't have it. I have looked for Max Lucado's Facing Your Giants, but we don't have it. That is when I turn not to borders.com, amazon.com or even barnesandnoble.com I look to bookswim.com. It is something like netflix, you can rent books from the site, and they are taking 50% off the sign-up fee: so instead of 19.95, you can sign up for 9.95. Not only can you rent books, you can also decide to buy the book if you loved it. I have done that with quite a few of my books like Frank Peretti's Monster.

It is so hard to find Christian fiction books, that aren't the popular authors like Peretti, Dekker, Kingsbery. Bookswim is cool, I like it; and to top it off you're helping the environment by having a tree planted in honor of your gift. Your tree helps balance out new book paper production through a partnership with Eco-Libris. The fact that they are taking 50% off the sign up fee (first month's payment) makes it worth while.

There are so many books out there that contain things we should not be reading. A young girl wanted something to read, but the young adult books had violence and even sex in them that she should not be reading! I have to wonder if teens are reading books that have sex and violence in them, wouldn't that influence their decisions? So why not start them off on to Christian artists who will influence them to rely on God for different situations. I think the more our kids read of quality Christian authors, being proud of their faith and relying on their faith would become easier and they wouldn't feel ashamed that some could. Bookswim.com could help keep our kids focus on their faith, I mean at the low price of 9.95 for the first month it is well worth it!

Love Believes

Again I have been reading The Love Dare and I have to say it is a great book. It is a book that you read a chapter a day which is why I am still reading it instead of finishing it right away. There was a section on love believing the best and the scripture that went with it came from 1 Corinthians 13:7: Love believes all things, hopes all things.

Love believes in all things, and hopes for all things. Love doesn't just give up hope and think all things are lost right away. It hopes for the best and hopes for something better. The authors of the Love Dare say that love chooses not to live in denial and deception, but in the appreciation and love that our spouse gives. The same goes from God. We seem to dwell and focus a lot on the deception of Satan telling us different things about ourselves. For me it used to be "you are worthless." "You are not capable of success or even love." "You will always be a failure" yet on the other side of things, the side I didn't hear or focus on was God. Saying "I love you." "You are worth everything to me." and so much more. I found it hard to hear that although that's what he was saying.

We need to work harder at listening to God's love which believes in us. It's hard to think that when we feel at our worst that God believes in us, because he loves us. We need to remember that no matter what Satan tries to tell us...we are "COVERED IN LOVE." God's love surrounds us and when we feel like failures and worthless we need to hold on to that we are covered in his love.

Toys

This time of year we start to see signs and boxes for donations for Toys for Tots or other charities that provide toys for children that may not get one for Christmas. I know we all would love to be able to donate a toy or two, but may not have the money for it. While doing various searches online I found a great site that we could go to to find qaulity toys to donate. Toy Overstock is a lot like overstock.com where they are able to sell quality products for a lower prices because of overstock in manufactorers. There is a toy baby doll: Lets Bring Baby that is marketed at 20.99 for only 8.99 now that is a savings and would allow us to buy more gifts to donate to more kids.

There are so many kids that won't be getting a gift for Christmas, part of showing God's love to the world is showing love and support to those who need it. While you are shopping around for gifts for your own family, it wouldn't hurt to check out Toy Overstock and order a toy for a child less fortunate. That may be to only toy they get this year, and it could mean the world and show that there are people in this world who care and that would make a world of difference.

yes camp video

It took me awhile but I got a small video from the YES Camp pictures I had. I would like to make it into a DVD but not sure how....

Thoughtfulness

The fourth chapter: fourth day of the Love Date talks about being thoughtful and that isn't just buying something we think our loved one would like. It means really listening to each other and paying attention to what they say and what they do. Some people think love is something that just comes naturally and doesn't require work, but many of us already know that it takes a lot of work.

The authors say that if a couple don't understand each other the relationship could fail; they will result in arguments and soon resentfulness. Guys get frustrated when women speak in riddles, and women get upset when guys don't understand us. The authors said that women tend to hint at things because we feel most loved when a guy pays attention and understands what we are saying. But the authors also say that while men need to listen more, we women need to become more truthful and not speak in riddles and hinting.

Wednesday night when Todd came to Bible Study he gave me a leaf: not just any leaf, it was purple with red in the middle. It was different and I haven't seen a leaf colored like it. But he said he saw in the driveway, and thought I would like it since I was picking up leaves from the Buckwheat Festival for my scrapbook, so he thought I would like it for that too. It was so sweet and I really did feel loved.

The same idea of paying attention to what each other says and does goes for God as well. Sure we can read the Bible daily and pray to him and say we hear his voice, but do we really listen and pay attention? Do we pay attention to him when he wants us to do or not do something? Or when he tells us to be patient...that is a hard one for us and goes back to that selfishness thing. Sometimes we read the Bible, but don't grasp the concept we don't pay attention to what is being said about different things. We don't actively keep our relationships with God thoughtful. We need to be more thoughts and think about what he does for us. We should appreciate the blessing he gives us everyday!

We need to give God our time, tithes/offerings, faith, trust, love, devotion and more. We need to think about what would God like. How does he feel when I do this or that. We need to think about God before we think about ourselves.

Love is Not Selfish

The movie Fireproof inspired a book called the Love Dare which I have been reading and I used for a few posts already. Day 3 says love is not selfish. We are geared to think the world revovles around us, we want everything the way we want it and when we want it. We are a selfish people. That selfishness will effect your relationships no matter what they are because you expect something from them. What the love dare is saying is that we need to put aside our desires and wants to make sure our spouse's needs are met and are happy before we are.

The book uses the scripture 1 Corinthians 13:5 which says Love does not seek its own. If we love someone we shouldn't be thinking about ourselves. We love God so why should we be expecting him to answer our prayers when we want him to or do the things we want him to. Why should we only want to have him in our lives when it is convenient for us. We wouldn't want our loved ones only at certain times, we want them all the time, so the same should go for God. We should be unselfish when it comes to God. We should give him our time, love, devotion. We should give him ourselves.

Selfishness gets us no where, our loved ones don't feel loved when we are selfish...do you think God feels we love him when we are paying too much attention to what we want instead of what he wants?

Love Is Kind

This is the subject of the second chapter of the Love Dare that I read last night. Something the author said was "patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing." lets reflect on that a moment: Kindness creates a blessing. I am sure we all are kind to our spouses and do our best to keep their wants and desires in mind. But something we put ours before theirs. The author who i believe is Stephen and Alex Kendrick go on to say kindness has four core ingredients: gentleness, helpfulness, willingness and initiative.

What he says is when we are kind we are willing to meet the needs of the moment, we are careful with how we treat our spouses, it inspires us to be agreeable and we think ahead. One of the greatest examples in the Bible about kindness is the story of the Good Samaritan and that is what Kendrick uses. Here is a man; a Jewish man who gets robbed and beat. Jewish leaders walk past him without a second look, then a Samaritan man, a race who are known to hate Jews, stop and help this man. He takes him to shelter and even pays for his medical attention. What a story! What kindness...how many of us would do that for someone we see hurting on the street?

We need to take that story and that kind of kindness and show it to our spouse. We need to think more of them than ourselves. I admit that is one thing I do need to work on. This past week I found myself upset because Todd wasn't coming to see me, instead he was supporting his sister in her tennis match. Sure I understood, and I wanted to support her too, but at the same time I wanted him with me. I was upset and i made him know it. After I realized how I acted and that it was wrong of course I apologized, but I still made him feel terrible. I should never make him feel that way, and I don't want to. I didn't act towards his desire to support his sister and tennis team with kindness. I will of course work harder at that and I will pray that God helps me with that.

There are scripture that lists what love is...many of us can remember them, but one of them is love is kind. And I wrote Monday about how we can have all the faith in the world, but have no love then we are nothing. Also that it is said that God is love...so if God is love and love is kind...hence God is kind. If we want to be more like God...we need to be kind. (wow i thought back to high school math..if a=b and b=c then a=c haha). We need to be kind and the dare for today is to do something kind unexpectedly. So be unexpected and do something kind that you normally wouldn't do. Show God's love through your kindness.

Constatine

The other night I watched the movie "Constatine" which is about a man who could see angels and demons and fought half breeds/demons and sent them back to hell. The basis was that he was trying to earn his way back into heaven because he tried or did commit suicide (i never got whether or not he actually did). But anyway he was able to sit and talk with Gabriel and destroy demons and of course send them back to hell and it got me thinking. Wouldn't it be cool if we could really see the angels and demons around us?

If you could sit down with like Gabriel what would you say to him? What would you ask? Do you think it would be too much to be able to see them? Or if we could see them at this moment do you think too many people think it is a hoax or that what they are seeing is just like a dream or something. What would you do if you saw a demon?

I think one of the reasons why we can't see them is because I don't think our minds would be able to fathom it. I don't think we can grasp what it would mean to be able to see them. And if we were able to see them would it change the world and how we live? I think it is hard for us to believe in them that even if we see them, we wouldn't believe that they are really there.

Faith and Love

I started to read the Love Dare, which is in the new movie Fireproof. I just finished the first chapter so I'm not really sure where the book will take me, but I'm sure it will be a good direction because it is a faith based book about love. Right before the first chapter was a verse from 1 Corinthians: 1-3, but I am going to focus on part of verse 2. If I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. I think that is a very powerful verse as are the others, but this one I like best.

We can have all the faith in the world, we can believe in Jesus and everything he did, but if we don't have love we are nothing. Faith and love go hand in hand. God is love. So the way I see it is if we have faith but not love...do we really have God? We always say "I have faith in God. God is in my life." but then turn around and say "I can't stand so and so." or "I can't imagine forgiving him." If we say things like that do we really have love? I know it is human to not like certain people, but we still tolerate them out of love for Christ, and fellow man. We can love someone without really liking them or rather their actions.

The Bible says God is love, so if we don't have love, just a small aspect of it we are nothing and our faith isn't that strong. How could it be if we don't have love?

Who He Is

This past week Pastor Marvin gave a really great sermon about who were are based on who God is, and what God did. Here are some of the things he said:

I am because he is:

I am saved because He is the Savior
I am Redeemed because He is the Redeemer
I have peace because He is the Prince of Peace
I am accepted because He was forsaken
I am alive and free because He died.
I am forgiven because He forgives
I am carried because He lifts me up
I have strength because He is the strong tower.

Celebrate God

Being in Washington D.C showed me a lot of different things, the different cultures that were visiting, the different languages of course and everything we learned while in each of the museums. In the American Indian museum, there were so many amazing things, and many of them dealt with the Creator. There was a display of a mask: it looked like two dragons, one on top of the other, I accidently deleted the picture sooo I'm sorry I can't show you. But the basis for the mask was that it was used to celebrate the angels' victory over demons.

The Native Americans of the region had different celebrations of celebrate victory over evil forces and the Creator (or God) triumph over everything. They would use this mask to demonstration the fall of a demon at an angels hand and I guess there would have been food and dancing as well, I got the idea many celebrations had dancing and could have had different kinds of food (hmm food and celebration sounds like ROL).

It got me thinking, while the Native Americans were able to celebrate the Creator in different ways, at different times, for different things, we Christians find it so hard to celebrate and worship God on a Sunday let alone any other day of the week. Too often I hear people making excuses for not coming to church and one of the most common I have heard has been "I don't want to see so and so." A good friend uses this excuse. The point of church is to met God not to see someone else. ANYWAY. We find it too hard to make time to celebrate God even in our home lives and on our own.

When I was in college I had a friend: Matt Alvarez, he had Christian music constantly playing softly even when he wasn't in the room. When I asked him about it one day he said it was to help praise and worship God throughout the day. Matt had his way of being able to worship and praise all day. What is your way? Do you even have a way? Native Americans see it as an honor to worship the Creator and well their duty and it is OUR duty to worship and praise God no matter what for all things.

When we celebrate something we need to remember that we also need to celebrate God, especially with this holiday season coming. Celebrate God, not the holiday.

Holocaust

While in Washington D.C Todd and I went to the Holocaust Memorial Museum. It was so hard to make it through the place without crying, I cried the whole time. There were quotes on the wall from Hitler, it gives you an insight to the insanity that was Hitler. One has to wonder how Hitler formed his ideas and what kind of man would think a mass of people not simply the Jewish, but intellectuals and homosexuals were beneath the European bloodline. I would think that if he was a Christian man, at least he would know that Christ was Jewish.

This poster was hanging outside the door. Too often we do see hatred, but we don't do anything or say anything. In between the "Think About What You Saw" it says "when you see injustice, when you see hatred, and when you hear about genocide." These things are happening and there are still people out there who think along the same lines of Hitler.

As Christians our prayers need to be strong and focused on issues like this. We need to use them as a weapon against this kind of thing. We need to stop hatred and injustice and the best place to begin is within our own churches/communities. Too often churches judge and don't accept people for who they are. When we begin to follow the motto "Judge No One Minister To All" which is the motto for The River Of Life Christian Fellowship, we can start going into the communities and changing viewpoints about certain things.

We need to remember and keep the things that happened during the Holocaust in our minds we cannot forget what happened and how many people died and suffered! There was a section of the museum where you can sit in a glass room and listen to stories from survivors of Auschwitz the worst concentration camp. To hear the stories in their own voices/words broke your heart, but at the same time gave hope because they were some of the lucky ones to survive. Many aren't that lucky today. People are dying everyday because of the same mindset: that they are inferior to others. This is the farthest thing from what Jesus taught.

One the side are some books everyone needs to read to somewhat understand the horror that happened as well as Schindler's List.

God's Glory in Pictures

Instead of a normal post of words I am just going to show God's glory through pictures I took this weekend at Ohiopyle. As I said in the last post you can always see the glory of God through nature. Only God could create something like it. Nothing can come close to the things we view in nature like the changing of leaves.



The water fall I altered the coloring. But the power of the waterfall shows that God is wonderful and powerful enough to have rushing water like that. I would never want to play in this water, but it is still beautiful and amazing! I always get a sense of safety and relaxation when I watch the water rushing in a waterfall.

Look at that! How can we ever imagine that man can create this! Only God could have designed an image like this! I just see God's finger touching different trees saying "you will be yellow and you will be red, oh and you shall be orange." I know I have an active imagination, but really couldn't you picture Him saying that? We just stood there on the bridge for several minutes. The boys were having a contest, I just couldn't get over the glory of God right in front of me.

There is a reason I am constantly taking pictures whenever I go out in nature. I try to capture the beauty of God's glory, but sometimes I don't think my photos can do justice to Him.

Go Outside

Today is a wonderful day, sure the weather is a little chilly and the wind is blowing, but it is still a beautiful fall day. Ohiopyle is one of the best places to go during the fall months because the leaves are changing, the waterfalls look different and the air of it all is just different than the spring and summer months. There is just something different. There are at least two or three different waterfalls there, one which we lovingly call the big falls because well...it's big are simply gorgeous. I am going to try and get a picture of it while we are there for the Buckwheat Festival.

It is places like Ohiopyle and Jumonville that remind me of Jesus praying in the garden. I picture Him beside/under a huge tree with water of some sort nearby. Jesus felt at peace in the garden, with nature. Some of my favorite authors have said that it is in nature when we feel the closest to God. Why wouldn't we? Nature is the best example of God's power and divine design. Not a single human can duplicate the power God has. Sure we can plant trees, flower, create man made lakes/ponds, but it is God that really makes it all happen. God makes the plants grow. I think we do not spend enough time in Nature, or just simply outside.

I know people are going to say "but it's cold out" so what, we have sweaters and jackets, hats, etc to keep us warm. I was just going through again pictures Jeremy took on one of his hiking adventures and he's all bundled up. I could imagine that even if it were cold out Jesus would still be in that garden praying. He would be covered up more, maybe with a blanket, but then again he just may endure the cold just to have special prayer time with God in Nature. Whenever I am walking around Nature no matter where it is, I feel closer to God. It seems like that is when I could hear Him the best.

I find myself asking questions as I would my closest of friends. We have conversations the best when there is nothing to distract me and His glory all about. I find myself getting answers to my questions and understanding some things better when I just sit on a rock admiring the trees or even the small stream by my house. I think when we take the time to just spend with God somewhere other than our homes and churches we would find things to be different. Go outside, watch the sunset, watch primroses bloom, dance with your loved one under that stars....whatever you do, go outside and experience God. Talk to Him and listen for Him to reply without distractions.

One Year

Well here we are...one year of being cancer free. I can't tell you what that is like, it's too hard to pu tinto words. I have been spending the week thinking about the things I felt and thought and honestly wonder how I could have made it without God in my life. I still don't really know how I did it. I don't remember so much about it. I know I was at the alter every Sunday praying with either Pastor Paul or Pastor Marvin.

I could never have made it through the cancer without prayer and having faith in God. Where would I be right now if I didn't have faith in God? Would I have made it through the cancer? I know at points I was angry and depressed, but I still cried out and relied on God for the strength to make it through. I praise him today because I went through cancer and things are different. I don't see life the same as I did two years ago. Certain things don't mean as much to me anymore, and other things hold the greatest of importance.

The relationships in my life have the utmost importance over all other things. I think of Thoreau saying "simplify, simplify, simplify" when it comes to life and I have to agree. What are the necessities of life? Food, shelter, clothes, GOD, and relationships. I couldn't live life without God and the people in my life. As I talked to Todd last night I saw I would happy with the simplest of things. I don't need a big house with all the luxuries of life, just as long I have God at my side and the people I live with me. God didn't make the things we have, man made things. God made people! God gave us the relationships we have because they are more important than things. And I have to wonder why do we try to replace relationships with things?

Thankfulness

A friend of mine writes a post once a week on the same thing. The things she is happy for. We should always be thankful to God for many different things in life. In mean we are told to give thanks. I think we should be giving thanks through the hard stuff as well as the good. So in spirit of The Sweet Diabetic, and the idea that we should be giving thanks to God on a regular basis...here are some things I am thankful for:

1. My Church family; without them things would be harder
2. God helping me overcome panic attacks
3. Todd: God has really sent me something special and wonderful in him.
4. I am thankful for him granting me the ability to write, I just pray I can use my talent to give honor to him.
5. I am thankful for being able to drive finally.
6. I am thankful for the help of those around me
7. Donya. She is my best friend more like a sister
8. My love for literature
9. Jesus dieing for my sins
10. God's love no matter what happens.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful thing. Also something I have been thinking A LOT about because at the same time I have been thinking about the past. In my past relationship I hurt many different people in my life, and I know I need to apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness. I made the step and apologized to my former roommate for being rude and inconsiderate to her while I dated my ex. Talking to her about it wasn't too hard, but there are two guys that I need to get a hold of and apologize to them, but I have really been putting it off. I saw one former friend back in January and I could have discussed things with him, but I got scared. I know he would appreciate it and forgive me but there is a small thing inside me scaring me.

I think that is Satan's way of keeping me from making amends with important people from my past. The Bible tells us that we shouldn't go to the alter when we have hurts in the past, when we have wronged someone and haven't asked their forgiveness, and I need to do that...I want to do that. Satan tries so many things to keep us from growing closer to God and becoming better people. He wants us to have past hurts that haven't been mended because that can be something he can hold over us in the future. Tom and I used to be great friends, but then I acted the way I did (I admit I was wrong I let my ex influence my actions and thoughts which I do regret) and because of that it seriously hurt our friendship.

I feel terrible when I tell people they need to forgive and ask for forgiveness when there are former friends that I have hurt and haven't discussed things with and mended even the smallest part of the relationship. I have been praying about it asking God for help, and that is what we need to do when there are issues in our lives we need help with.

Emotions

From time to time we wonder why we feel the way we feel and what we can do to express those feelings. God gave us our emotion for a reason, and I think he wants us to be able to express them, but there are times when we don't really know how to properly express those feelings. When I was diagnosed with cancer I was so mad, but who was I supposed to be angry at? Not the doctors, myself....nor God, but I was still angry with God. But you know what...he still loves me.

Job expressed how he felt throughout his ordeal. In chapter 7 he states: I will not restrain my mouth, I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul." Job didn't refrain for complaining about how he felt and the emotions he was going through. He was able to express his emotions even if he got bitter towards God and questioned God about the things he was going through. It is okay for us to question why we go through the things that we go through. It is okay to express our emotions and cry out to God: He wants us to do that. He wants us to rely on Him and turn to Him for help and guidance, even if we cry out in anger.

We have our emotions for a reason no matter what they are: love, anger, sadness and more. God gave them too us for a reason and wants us to express them.

Blah

Lately I have been feeling great, but today I feel kinda blah like I don't want to do anything, even read my Bible. I think I am thinking and worring too much about tomorrow in which I am going to get my drivers license...I know it's about time right? For the past couple of week I have been doing good with reading my Bible, and I haven't done it yet today and I am slightly ashamed of myself.

I know while I am doing other things such as writing this I could be reading my Bible, or I could have read it when I first woke up, but I don't have the desire to read it. Part of me wonders if that makes me a terrible, horrible Christian or normal. I know other Christians go through a time when they don't have the desire to read, write, or pray to God. But I wonder how do they over come it? I remember a few weeks ago that I was just telling Todd to just do it and it would get easier and not seem like a chore, which is probably what I should do huh? I should just read it and fight off this feeling.

I think sometimes we need to go through these periods to see if we are truly dedicated to reading and praying even when the desire is gone and the ambition isn't there. I was just reading my friend Jeremy's blog and he said he was going to get back to doing something he loved to do which was writing, and it got me thinking. I love reading my Bible, so why should I let anything stop me? Just like he shouldn't let anything stop him. I think that is what I am going to do...I am just going to read my Bible and prove that I am dedicated and strong enough to push past this blah like feeling.

Words

As you know I have been reading through the book The Five Love Languages. Dr. Chapman goes through the different lanugages of love and how they make a difference in our relationships. One of the languages was words. I have finished the book about two weeks ago, but I have still be thinking about it and how some if not all of them could relate to God and how we show God's love to others.

Of course our words to others are important. I think no matter what simply saying "I appreciate you" goes a long way. I know how important it is to hear someone say they need you or love you as well. The same would go for God. God wants to hear us speaking of our love for him. Of course we can say we love God to other Christians, but not say a word about him to non-Christians..what does that show about our love for God?

I think part of witnessing is showing our love for God (well duh right) but I don't think witnessing is just telling friends about God, but saying things like "Well I love God and I want to make him happy so I won't do that..." or whatever. Our words can be so incredibly powerful no matter who we are talking about. Shouldn't we constantly say I love God just as much as we would say I love steak or some other thing. We tend to be quick to say I love mundane things yet its so hard to say I love God.

We need to get away from keeping our love for God a secret and work towards shouting from the rooftops...I LOVE GOD!

Christlike Quality

As some of you know, Todd and I have been reading through The Purpose Driven Life together. Granted there are times when we don't read because we get preoccupied with other things, though we are trying to become more disciplined in reading it more often. If you have read the book before, you know there are questions at the end of each chapter. The question for chapter 26 got me thinking.

What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face? Throughout the chapter Rick Warren talked about how our temptations could make us grow closer to God. The thing is I am finding a hard time trying to answer that question. I think one of the qualities I can develop through my temptations is patience. I have found lately that I get aggravated with some people to quickly. I see that I have been getting better at being patient with mainly those I love.

I see the people I have the least patience with is my family, and that really does bother me. Patience is one of the fruits of the spirits and I would love to develop it more. Rick Warren said: God uses the opposite situation of each fruit to allow us a choice. I have decided when I find myself starting to get aggravated, I'm of course going to stop and pray to God for help, the strength to not get aggravated and angry, but to have patience with those I love, because I don't think getting angry and aggravated with each other shows that I do love them deeply.

What are some of the temptations in your life, that can help you develop Christlike character qualities? How can you grow in Christ because of your temptations?

My Lunch

Pastor Paul gave a moving sermon on Sunday about giving "your lunch" to Jesus. He talked about the feeding of the five hundred and mention that at some point the little boy who had the fish and bread had to give them to Jesus. The young boy sacrificed his lunch for Jesus, something that gave him nourishment. The young boy sacrificed his food, his life force for Jesus with the faith that Jesus could feed not only him, but the five thousand men in the crowd. Are we that willing to give something to God in order that he could bless others? Years ago Pastor started YES Camp in hopes of providing something to less fortunate children. This past year Yes Camp had 100 campers, the second highest. If pastor didn't give his lunch: his time, efforts, and sometimes money to Jesus for the use of Camp, the thousands of kids that came to God as a result of camp wouldn't have.

Too often we are reluctant to give anything in the name of Jesus. We are reluctant to give our money thinking the pastor is the one who gets it, when in reality the church needs tithes to function. Many churches fail as a result of the congregation not tithing! That should not be happening.

I am sitting here thinking of what can I do for my church, what can I give so that God could bless others through my givings. Right now I can't tithe as I have no job, but when I can I do. I give my time to the ladies fund-raisers and other things the church does, and many other things. I don't do them for my own glory, but for the glory of God so that our church could reach out to others and provide services that are needed within the community such as a nursery school, Celebrate Recovery, and a Cancer Support Group (which I decided to name after this blog).

What are you willing to give to Jesus? Are you willing to give your lunch so to speak? We need to band together and use our talents, money, and more to help the church of God to expand no matter what church we go to. It doesn't matter if you are catholic, presbyterian, methodist, pentecostal, baptist, or non-traditional such as ROL. When we give to God in faith, we give to God together for one purpose. So give your lunch, give your time....give yourself to God.

That Little Voice

We all know it, we've all heard it. That little voice telling you to do something you wouldn't think of doing. It could be as simple as "why not send the woman in the hospital a card" or "I should go visit..." Then it could be as complex as "Pray for him" "Pray with him." Normally I get the little voice telling me to do things I see as simple like welcoming a visitor to church or giving a friend a call or something like that. But last night...it was different....

Last night was the fourth night of the Bethlehem Baptist Tent Revival. The Baptist church here in town has an annual revival with pastors from the area giving a different sermon each night. Pastor Paul had a powerful message on Monday about faith...but last night...had impact. Reverend Davis the host pastor gave his testimony..I admit there were times when I cried. He mentioned a scripture that helped him at one point: Psalm 137 the little voice said: Write that down...it is needed. Then as the service was coming to a close, Rev. Davis was still talking it felt like my heart was talking to me. Saying "Pray for Todd. DO IT." I tried to fight it and say I'll talk to him then pray on Sunday if he's ok with me mentioning things. But the little voice kept saying "Do it." and it just got stronger as the time went.

It is times like that when I know that little voice is God telling me to do something. People who haven't experienced the voice or rather God's voice think that it's their subconscience telling them to do something even the small things, but it's not...It's God. I know God was telling me to pray for Todd, and he wanted me to pray with Pastor Paul not the other two for some reason. I know the reason, but I am not going into details on this blog out of respect for both Todd, and Pastor.

But the point is the voice was so strong, I have never felt anything stronger other than the day I accepted Jesus into my life. Even then it was different there was more urgency. No matter how the voice sounds we need to listen to it. We may think it is nothing, but it could be God telling you to do something, he could have a reason why he wants you to call someone. Listen to the voice...listen to God.

One Touch

I was actually thinking of writing about something completely different today, but I have been listening to Christian music more than I normally do lately, mainly because I would rather listen to that than the secular stuff. But there is one song that has been really standing out to much recently because it has so much meaning behind it and it's just so powerful. It's called One Touch by Nicole C Mullen: the young woman who sings "My Redeemer Lives." She sings it from the point of view of the woman who had so much faith that thought if she simply touched the hem of Jesus' robe she would be healed.

This is the chorus:

If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch

It has really made me think. This woman had so much faith that she just wanted to touch the end of his robe. She felt even the bottom of his robe, which probably dragged across the dirt etc would hold enough power to heal her of her ailments. She had so much faith in God, she didn't think he would even notice if she reached out to touch him.

I know there has been times when I felt that same way. If I could just touch him and feel his power I would be healed. If I had enough faith in his power and mercy I would be healed. I think that is the exact basis of faith. Trusting in God when something seems impossible, well even the Bible says With God all things are possible. So why should we doubt his power? Why should we doubt the power of God? I know there are people out there who do doubt the power he holds. If a woman could be healed by touching his robe, if I could be healed simply through faith, prayer (and well medical stuff) how could we not accept the power that God holds?

We all go through a time of "madness" as the song says. We all need to push through and reach out to try and touch the hem of his garment to get even the smallest glimpse of the power that Jesus holds. Sometimes I find it hard how some people cannot believe in Jesus with everything around them; but that's just me ^_^.

Patience

For the past few months Todd has been graciously teaching me how to drive. He has been so incredibly patient with me as well. I think once I accidentally hit the bank of the road when turning into the church parking lot, and he's really good when I panic on the high way, he talks very softly to me to bring the panic down. He remains patient no matter what is going on while I am driving. The same goes with when he is teaching me how to play tennis. Yes is his teaching me many different things ^_^

I mentions Todd's patience with me because it makes me think of how we need to be patient with each other through the different aspects of life. We all make mistakes and not one of us is perfect. We need to be patient and understand that no one is going to be the exact way we want them to be.

Throughout everything we do God is patient with us. We walk away from him, and he patiently calls us back, we struggle with sin and he patiently helps us grow stronger against it. He is patient when we don't learn lessons, when we struggle with witnessing and tithing. God never once losses his patience with us, so why should we lose patience with each other?

How can we exact each other to do things the same way at the same pace that we do things? We are all different. I have a friend who never learns her lesson when it comes to the kind of men she dates, but still I talk to her, give her Godly advice and pray she changes, then she'll call with the same problem. I try to have patience with her as she learns which is what God does with us. He keeps giving us trials and tribulations to teach us things and he is patient when we don't learn right away.

God give us patience and many times we even get impatient with him! We want everything in our time and get upset if it doesn't come when we want it. I think when we learn to be patient with each other more, we can learn to be patient with God and trust him more.

God's Love

The Bible constantly talks about how God's love shines so bright. It talks about his love being the greatest thing we can experience, yet we don't have the capacity to comprehend the greatness of his love. We know God's love is great because he sent his son to die on the cross for us, but do we realize how bright his love is and how wonderful it is?

Job's friend Bildad tried to explain God's love and glory by simply saying that "God is so glorious that even the moon and the stars scarcely shine compared to him." He is saying that when compared to God's love and glory even the moon, stars, and sun above seem dim and dull. Nothing can measure up to God's love not even the brightest things we can comprehend. Everything in God's creation, even the moon and stars know of his glory and bow before him.

Shouldn't we be trying to show that kind of love and glory through our actions? I already talked about how our words can show God's love, but our actions can do the same. God's glory can radiate through how we act and how we treat others and the things that we do in life. We could never measure up to the glory of God, the most we can do is show his glory through our own lives, yet it still won't seem to be enough.

Tithing

Some people believe tithing is just an Old Testament subject and doesn't apply to the New Testament or today's society. People all have their reasons as of to why they don't tithe as the Bible says. One of the biggest reasons is "I can't afford it." It is too hard for people to part with their money. Others think that their tithes go straight to the pastor, which it doesn't. Many times the money people tithe goes to help keep the church running. It pays bills like gas, electric and sometimes the mortgage.

"If you are really eager to give, it isn't important how much you are able to give. God wants you to give what you have, not what you don't have. Of course, I don't mean you should give so much that you suffer from having too little. I only mean that there should be some equality." 2 Corinthians 8: 12-13. God wants us to give what we can, but not to the point where our bills and comfort suffer. If God gives you 100 dollars all he asks is for 10 back, that's not too much to ask from us. God doesn't want all of our money or a huge chunk. Thinking about it 10% of what we make and own isn't a lot. When you give back to God He will provide what you need. You will never be in need of the necessary needs: food, clothes, and shelter. God is the great provider.

Sometimes churches need their congregation to tithe and give money to the church in order to survive. It is not some meaningless idea of the Old Testament, it helps us grow closer to God when we give to his church and his people. How else do people think churches function and pay the bills?

The Power Of Words

We all know that our words can make someone feel loved or hurt someone deeply. Our words are so powerful and many other times we don't understand how powerful they can be. They can be misunderstood, misinterpreted and miscommunicated. Many times when things are misunderstood it's when they are written instead of spoken, even with spoken words they can misunderstood. Solomon even knew this when he said "The tongue has the power of life and death." We need to pay attention and think about the things that we are saying. We need to think of how our words can be taken and whether or not they will show the love of God or not. When people know we are Christians they pay attention to the things we do and say. If our words are hurtful, spiteful and damaging what does that show about us? How would that show non-believers the love and grace of God?

That is why gossip is so hurtful and bad. It doesn't show the glory of God when we repeat things about a person that are not good. Or when you say "I heard" or "Jackie told me that..." and more. When we repeat things that are damaging that we HEARD from someone else or even hurtful things we've seen we damage a person's reputation and take a little bit away from the glory of God. We should be saying good thing, encouraging things about everyone around us, even those that we don't get a long with. When someone starts to gossip we need to simply walk away or say I don't want to hear that. I know I've been talking about gossip alot but it's something that everyone needs to really think about.

We also need to think about what we say to our loved ones. It is our words that can hurt them the most. When we were discussing the twelve steps in sunday school, pastor asked who is the person who's criticism hurts the most and generally it is the person we love the most: a spouse, close friend, or family member. I just finished reading a book called The Five Love Languages and Dr. Chapman said that we need to always be saying words of encouragement to our loved ones and kinds words with a kind tone. We can be so hurtful to someone instead of loving. God doesn't want us to be hurting our fellowman. He wants us to display love and kindness and part doing so is through our words. We can cause life or death with what we say. Think about it.

HIding From God

The book of Job has many wonderful scripture that we need to pay attention to and take to heart. So much of what is said can be applied to how we feel and deal with things on a daily basis. Wednesday night Bible studies are always wonderful because we are going through Job, and Pastor Marvin has insight like no other I've heard. In the 22nd chapter (I know I did chapter 23 yesterday) it is actually Eliphaz who says something profound. He tells Job "God is so great -- higher than the heavens, higher than the farthest stars. But you reply, that's why God can't see what I am doing! How can he judge through the thick darkness? For thick clouds swirl about him, and he cannot see us. He is way up there walking on the vault of heaven."

Too often we think that God cannot see the little things that we do. We think that since he is up in heaven he cannot see the "little" sin we commit like if we tell a little fib or something. But sorry to say God sees everything no matter how small we may think it is. I will stress this again God sees everything we do! We cannot hide anything from God. No matter how hard we try God sees it all which is why we need to do what we could to stop the temptations that we tend to fall into. We need to take the measures needed to eliminate sin from our live granted we will never eliminate it all, but there are things we can consciencously fix. telling fibs even if we call it a little white lie is something we can stop, gossiping about other people around us is another. There are things we can easily stop doing in order to purify our hearts and minds so we can focus more on God.

Too often we think that because there are so many people in the world God cannot see everything we do since he is watching Joe Shmoe down the street. Sometimes we think how could he see this little thing when so and so is committing adultry or murders in the world. Again God sees it all. There is no possible way for us to hide anything from God. We shouldn't even try to hide things from God. Imagine if you tried to hide something from your mom or dad while growing up? Did it ever work?? Hardly ever..I know I could never hide anything from my mom, so why should we try to hide from our Heavenly Father?

Being Tested

Too often when we go through a hardship we don't understand why we must go through it. I can remember constantly asking God why. I wanted to know why I had to have cancer, why I had to be so weak and sick. There were times I will admit when it felt like God wasn't there. It was as if I couldn't find him no matter where I looked, but the main thing was I stayed on the path and searched.

In the book of Job he talks about that feeling of loss. In Chapter 23 he states So he will do for me all he has planned. He controls my destiny. No wonder I am so terrified in his presence. What Job was saying is his life was no longer in his control and that was terrifying. When we hear something is wrong somewhere, health, finances, jobs, and more we get terrified because it is no longer in our control. Its hard for us to feel God all around when we are going through so much.

A few verses before that Job also says "When he has tested me like gold in a fire, he will pronounce me innocent." Sometimes when we go through the hard things, God is testing us like gold. The hardships we go through only makes us stronger and strengthens our faith in God. It's hard for us to see that sometimes though. We have a hard time to see that God has a plan for everything and that he is in fact in control of our lives not ourselves.

Hardships are called hardships for a reason. They are hard to go through, but they get easier if we rely on God the whole time.

The Little Things

Throughout the cancer I learned to pay attention to the small things. It's in the small stuff that God really shows himself. I think non-believers want to see big powerful displays not the small little things that they tend to overlook. Recently I was talking with Pastor Marvin about trying to find an audio Bible for his cousin. She needed cassette tapes instead of cds. So I was going to ask my best friend where I could find some or whatever. My birthday was this past Tuesday and my grandma bless her heart thought what she got me was audio Bible encyclopedia. But what she got was audio Bible on cassette! God works in so many little ways. Now I have the old testament to give to Pastor Marvin's cousin, and it was exactly what she needed the cassettes. It was perfect timing and perfect for what she wants and needs.

God knows our exact needs down to the smallest of details. He finds different ways to show us his power and that He knows our needs such as this. Where could anyone find cassette tapes in a day and age of cds and soon mp3 players? Yet my grandma found a set of cassettes. How wonderful is the power of God? Something like that a non-believer wouldn't see as the power of God, but as a coincidence. know what I mean. They won't see it as a wonderful act instead they will keep asking God for a sign that He is there. It is within the little things that we see God the most, so we need to be paying attention to the small things if we want to see God's glory at it's finest.

Intimacy with God.

In an older post about Intimacy I stated that there are many different forms of intimacy, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Last night at Bible Study Pastor Marvin said something important. He said he and Georgine have a level of intimacy they wouldn't have without knowing each other in and out. They spent time getting to know each other. That is the same kind of relationship we need with God. We need to form a high level of intimacy with God that surpasses every other relationship we have. A spiritual intimacy with God is the highest form of spiritual intimacy we can have.

We need to be closer to God on all aspects of life then we are with even the closest person in our life. We need to learn everything we can about God. We need to know him inside and out. We need to let him into our lives for all aspects of life, the good and the bad. Many people just want God around during certain points of life. Some want him when there are bad things, some want him only during the good. While some blame him for the bad and take credit for the good.

While we try to achieve a certain intimacy with the people in our lives we need to be focusing more on gaining a higher level of intimacy with God. Why would we want anything less?

Is It Enough

The other night Todd and I went out for our birthday. yes we share the same birthday, but anyway we went to Buca Di Beppo for dinner with a few of our friends: well less than a few Donya, Tom and Michael. While Todd and Tom were putting our name in for another restaurant, were we could just sit and talk without so much noise, Donya, Michael and I were talking about relationships and Michael asked a question I thought was interesting. He asked "When does it come to a point when you say 'I've had enough It's not working." After he said that I got to thinking, that doesn't have to apply to our romantic relationships. When does it come to a point in our lives when we say "I've had enough, I cannot do this, it's not working...I need God." We always try to do things our way, but is there a time when we say it's enough.

We let things get to a certain point before we say "your will not mine." And the question I ask is when does it become enough? Jesus even said to God before he was crucified: "Father if you are willing please take this cup of suffering from me. Yet I want your will not mine." Jesus wanted God's will for his life even if it meant that he needed to die. How often do we say that unless life gets too unbearable for us to do it on our own? Or does the struggles go too bad that people tend to walk away from God?

I have had some people ask me how could I still trust God when I was dealing with cancer at such a young age. All I could answer was it was his will. He had a plan for me and for some reason part of the plan was for me to have cancer at this age. He also healed me within months. People see a miracle when they see me. I wanted God's will not mine. I felt like Jesus saying take this cup of suffering from me, but I wanted his will so I went through all the emotions, and feelings and experiences that cancer has to offer.

Anyway when does it become enough for us to say fine have it your way as most people say. God has a plan for all of our lives, everything that happens happens for a reason as part of his will and his plan. So my question to you is: Is it enough? Has it come the time when YOU need say Your will be done, not mine.

Opportunities

Saturday night Todd and I went to a baseball game with my family. Its almost the end of the season for the Wildthings so we went to see them play. Well, I got to be the fan of the game, which means I got to throw out t-shirts to the crowd. It was fun. I mention this because Dutch says a little something about you before throwing the shirts. I wasn't going to say anything about the cancer, but something inside told me to, so I did. He shouted that I was a cancer survivor and on my way back to my seat a lady came up to me. She has a friend who is dealing with Lymphoma as well. A young man of 24 which was how old I was when I found out about mine. Odd. But she wanted me to give him a call to give him some words of encouragement.

God gives us different opportunities to make a difference in someone's life. If I didn't sign up for the fan of the night, or ignore the feeling to have Dutch say I was a cancer survivor, I would never have this chance to talk to another Lymphoma warrior about God and how He is the great physician. We need to pay attention to that little something telling us to something: many times it's God telling us to do it because he has a plan with what He wants to happen. God gives us these open opportunities to do His will...He makes it easy sometimes. I wanted to start giving others encouragement and now is my chance. I don't what I am going to say to him, but I am not worried about it, I am praying that God gives me the words to say to help encourage him.

Not only does this opportunity help this young man but it helps me for when more people come to cancer support group. Sometimes we think that little voice is ourselves and ignore it. But sometimes it's just so strong that we can't.

Thankfulness

A dear friend of mine writes on The Sweet Diabetic blog, and once a week she lists things she is thankful for. I think it is a great thing that she does and it really makes me think about what am I thankful for. God wants us to give thank as well as praise, and honor. Psalm 75:1 tells us "We give thanks to you, O God, we give thanks, for your Name is near; men tell of your wonderful deeds." We should always give God thanks for the many things He has blessed us with in our lives. So I am going to que from my dear Sweet Diabetic and list some things that I am thankful for.

1. Having a great church
2. Having a wonderful man in my life
3. Being cured of cancer
4. Having the ability to write
5. Sunsets and the ability to catch them on film.
6. My friends who support me no matter what
7. My family who love me no matter what
8. The ability to have gone to college and get a good education
9. My faith, I thank God for the struggles in life that strengthened my faith
10. Lastly I thank God for my life. Just for the fact that He created me and loves me no matter what I do in life.

What are some of the things that you are thankful for in life? No matter who you are or what you have, be sure to thank God for the things in life, and even the bad things because we always learn from the bad things in life. I mean I had a friend call and thank me for my friendship and not judging her. Just be sure to give thanks to God for all the blessings, and not just on Thanksgiving or at church.

Listen

The other day a friend of mine called she was very upset, but wanted to thank me for my friendship. She was going through a rough time with one of her friends who honestly was not being much of a friend. This friend of hers was threatening to reveal some secrets to my friend's husband. While I don't agree with some of the things my friend has done, I could never imagine doing that. I tell her what I think and the Godly way to handle things and leave it at that. I listen to what she needs to say when she's upset and many of the times I don't try to force her to do something different as many other people would try to do.

When I think about people wanting their friends to listen and just console them by listening to them, I think of Job. He wanted his friends to listen to him, and all they did was tell him he must have sinned greatly against God and made him angry. Finally in Chapter 21 verse 2 Job tells his friends "You can console me by listening to me. Bear with me and let me speak." Job wanted his friends to just shut up and listen to his despair. Sometimes we need someone to listen to our pain. When I dealt with cancer all I wanted was someone to listen to me when I wanted to rant and rave. Our friends want the same thing. They want us to listen to them when they need an ear.

One of the greatest ways we can show the love of God is to console our friends and family by simply listening to them. Who wants someone to constantly tell them when they are doing something wrong or trying to give them advice all the time? Wouldn't you want your friends to just listen to what you need to say so shouldn't we do the same for our loved ones? Job was in such despair and his friends weren't very consoling, instead I think they just made matters worse, and made Job feel even more depressed. They never once tried to lift him up or just listen to what he had to say. God needs us to be a source of comfort for the people in our lives, and part of that is to just shut up and listen.

Beacon Of Light

I have this friend from high school that I talk to from time to time and try to be a beacon of light for her. Sometimes I feel like I have failed because it would be months before I talk to her again. I know there are things in her life that she needs and wants to change and in the past I have been there for her, but lately I kind of backed off for some reason. I won't go into the story of her situation because that's neither here nor there. But my heart goes out to her and know that she will find the comfort she needs in Jesus.

Last night she called and we talked about things one of which being the situation she is in at the moment, and I just invited her to church. Sadly she said she couldn't come this weekend but I hope she can within the next couple of weeks. I do want to be a beacon for her as we all should be to our friends. It's part of witnessing to them about Jesus. We listen to them, invite them to Bible Study and church and if you are younger: youth group. Being a beacon of God's love to someone else can help us grow in our own faith in Jesus. I love my friend very much and I want her to see and feel the comfort and peace I get from Jesus, so why wouldn't I tell her about him and invite her to church? Honestly why wouldn't we witness to our friends and family. I know it's hard sometimes and things inhibit us from doing so.

But witnessing isn't just talking about Jesus to them, but inviting them to church, Bible Study, fellowship, and more. I know she has seen God's love through me because of our conversations, and that I listen to her without judging her actions, along with how I treat others. She sees my life so she sees Jesus. That's how our lives should be. People should get a glimpse of God through how we act, react, and live our lives.

My Redeemer Lives

I have to say my Wednesday night Bible studies are the best. I don't think I could survive the week without them. It's like a boost of energy for not just my spiritual side, but all aspects of my life. While my own Bible studies help, the fellowship with others and the insight of my Pastors are always an added bonus and just makes my week. For the past couple of months we have been working our way through Job. We focused on Chapter 19 last night. I admit Job is one of my favorite stories, second to the story of Ester. But chapter 19 Job talks of his plight and how his friends aren't acting like friends.

It was towards the end that made me really think. Verses 25 to 27 says I know that my Redeemer lives, and that he will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God! I will see him for myself. Yes, I will see him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought! Now remember here is Job: he lost his family, his wealth, and his health. He's sitting there with boils on his body, stinky, puss oozing out and other stuff. He always talked of his depression and despair. He asked God why, but he never once blamed God. Those verse are proof that he still praised God. Even though he might not be referring to Jesus, he knew God would redeem him through all this.

How often through our own hardships do we give God praise? How often do we say "my redeemer lives?" When we go through some hardship we tend to blame God saying he caused them this strife. They think they are being punished for their sin or that God is just mad at them. God always has a reason for us to go through some hardship and struggle in our lives. We always learn and grow from our struggles and suffering. I know it's hard to keep a focus on that there is a good reason for our struggles and that God will see us through. Job said he is overwhelmed at the thought of getting to see God. When my uncle was dying of cancer, that is what he said. He was excited that he would get to see Jesus finally. Sure he was upset that he wouldn't be here with us, but he knew God had other plans. Sometimes it is hard to praise God through hardships, hard to see that there is something good that could come out of the experience, but we need to try and place our focus on God.

That is what church, fellowship, Bible Studies, prayer meetings, and other things churches may offer are so important. They help us keep our focus on God instead of ourselves. Job knew God loved him and wouldn't abandon him in his time of need. He just asked God why and after a while said he knew God would save him at some point. It might not be today, tomorrow or next week, but God will answer our prayers if it is in his will. He will save us from our struggles and hardships. It may not be what we think it would be. The point is that we need to keep in mind that God will be there for us, he doesn't make us go through hardships as punishment or out of anger. He does it out of love and wants to help us grow stronger in faith through the hardships we deal with. We can use any hardship we deal with as a testimony and witness to others
dealing with the same things.

Praise God: I know my redeemer lives!