Paparazzi

This weekend was the debut concert of the band Paparazzi. Of course Tom and I went; the lead singer is not only completely AWESOME but she is also one of our closest friends. It was nice to be able to get out of the house and do something other than work. Last week Tom and I worked almost every night (there was one or two that I didn't work), so naturally it was nice to be able to get out. Tom spent the night with the guys and I was off with the girls dancing, singing and cheering on Crissy and the band. There was a photography that kept taking pictures and we are in a few of the fan pictures because well we were in front of the stage and the photographer was being creeper towards Rena.

Being in the group of friends was great, so was being able to be there and support my friend and see her dreams coming true. It was simply amazing. You never know how thrilling it is to sit (or stand) and watch someone's dreams unfurling and being reality until it happens. It also helped the crowd anxiety as well. When I was in the middle of that crowd I didn't feel the anxiety I felt nothing but excitement for Crissy. I don't think it even dawned on me until the end that I was in the middle of the crowd with my friends and didn't panic. Maybe it was because I was a group of friends, knowing I had a small escape route beside me or just allowing myself to be in the moment and not worry about where I was and what was around me.

Just maybe I am beginning to overcome this anxiety thing. So I got to see an amazing band, see one of my closest friends make her dreams come true, but I also made progress on me getting over my anxiety attacks.

Friendship Thanks

Every week I have been doing a post on thanksgiving. Looking at the things, and lately the people in my life who I am most thankful for and the things about them that I am thankful for. This week I picked someone who means a great deal to me. I've known Melissa for about 2 years now I think and we have become so close. Maybe it was because we basically have the same mind or that we worked together in some of the most stressful situations. Whatever it was that made us this close I am thankful for Melissa.

Basically saving my life several times

Showing me how to "have some balls"

Not sugar coating things, being honest

Crazy goofy nature that makes any time with you fun

Random text messages throughout the day

Inside jokes that no one else understands

Gummie Bear and Shark Orgies

Being easy to talk to and share things with

Playing with sidewalk chalk, blocks on my parents sidewalk

Trusting me with your thoughts and feelings.

Being a wonderful friend

Knowing that sometimes all I need is to just veg and make a fool of myself.

Throughout the years I have learned that sometimes friends come and go. People who you were once close with fade and go a different path. And while its sad, its a way of life. I know I have chosen a different path then some friends and that when friends start a new chapter in life we just naturally drift apart. Melissa is one of those friends who will be at your side no matter what. She is my sister from another mister LOL

Too Dependent

So my laptop has been shutting itself off and there is a possibility that I may need a new one or spend lots of money to try and get mine fixed. While its down and shuts itself off while I try to use it I am starting to realize that there are things we have become too dependent on. How many of us can say we can live without the cell phone? I can't. I go through withdraw when Melissa gets deployed somewhere that she can't text, or if my phone dies, or when I leave it at home. The other night I had a small accident, drove into a snow bank and I didn't have my phone to call anyone and Tom's was dead. We had to wait for someone to come and help me out.

This past week I have been thinking about that we have become too dependent on technology and other luxuries. We cannot live our lives with these things. I think back to Biblical days, what would we do and how would we react if we need to live the same lives they did. Or even when our parents were younger. I know my mom didn't have half the things that I did, and I didn't have half the things kids today have. Sometimes I wonder if our dependencies on these things help fuel the attitudes of kids today. At the schools I go to half are listening to an ipod, some have psps out, all have cell phones. Kids don't need these things, and they fact that parents allow them to have them helps fuel the attitude and dependency.

I was beginning to think I will take a few days away from my laptop and ipod. If I want to listen to music I will find another way other than the ipod and Pandora. I will use a desktop for only certain things like checking email and writing blogs, no facebook. Maybe I'll start that in March ;D

The First Apostle

I am in the process of reading a book called "The First Apostle", actually I am almost finished with it. It was one of those books I seen on the shelf and wondered if I would like it, so I picked it up for something to do, something to read and maybe I will like it and the author: James Becker. It's one of those books about codes and things and something super popular: the church and church's secrets. I already told Tom that I can see people going overboard and saying it's truth the way they did with The Da Vinci Code.

As I was reading it and coming to my own conclusions about the storyline and the code within the book. I started to wonder about the secrets hidden throughout the region. They may not have been hidden on purpose but through time and changes, things become hidden such as the real location of Christ's tomb or even if there are other things that the apostles wrote. Im not saying there are or if there are that they could alter everything we believe, but the contrary: prove the truth within the Bible. Im sure if such a thing existed people would debate it they way humans tend to debate everything we find.

I know there were periods in history when Christianity was illegal; heck still is in some places. What if there are things hidden throughout the world. Maybe not even with Christianity, what if there are druid relics hidden in Ireland or Buddhist relics in India. Im sure there are relics hidden throughout the world for every religion. I just think it would be awesomely cool to be the person to stumble on something from Jesus' time. This book has been making me think more about it, even if it is something as small as a dish used in the time or tools used to farm or do carpentry. Does this make me odd?

Old School

The other night Tom and I were talking about some of the old school shows and cartoons that we used to watch like David the Gnome, Fraggle Rock, Snorks and so many others. This actually a common conversation we have now that I think of it. But anyway when I think about the shows and cartoons I used to watch as a kid, it was way better then what kids today watch. I know they are bringing back some of the old school shows like Care Bears, but its all computer generated and there are some new bears, its not the same. There is nothing like the old animation where the color isn't all that bright.

Even the storylines are different. With most shows today the storylines are done when the episode ends. Back in the day we had to wait til the next episode to find out what happens to the characters. Sure it wasn't every show but a lot of the best ones had the continuing story line. Shows have no shame showing things that young kids shouldn't see. The worst we had was Bugs Bunny smoking. Things cartoons did couldn't be re-enacted like dropping an anvil on someone, now there are so many news stories of kids trying things and hurting each other because of it.

While I know some shows are coming back for a new generation, stations are making all kinds of alterations which makes the show different and not like it was. What needs to be done is bring the actual show out of the vault or archives or wherever and allow kids to view them they way we did. Maybe if kids had better cartoons that held the childhood innocents when they got to be teens they would have attitudes and a sense of entitlement. Hmm just a thought.

Faithful Thanks

Normally I do my thanksgivings on Friday, but its going to be a little bit different and I am going to do one today. Sunday is perfect day to do this thanks or so it would seem. Many people may not have a close relationship with their pastor, I am thankful that I have a wonderful friendship with him. My Pastor is an extraordinary man who will do anything if it meant helping someone out.

Being the kind of Pastor God intended

The prayer and support you gave during any time of need

Being non-judgmental

Being a prime example of a gentleman

Caring about every one of your church members, non church members and campers

Willing to listen no matter the time

Making sacrifices for those you love

Making my family feel welcomed at the church

Introducing us to amazing exchange students and igniting the desire to host one myself

Pastors are extra ordinary people who put themselves under a microscope, maybe more so than celebrities. Pastor Paul has handled every gossip, every attempt to bring him down with grace and dignity. He has been a great example of how a man treats his wife and friends. I consider Pastor Paul like a second father. And I am more than thankful for him every day.

Growing Up Too Fast

I have been subbing in the Pittsburgh schools for about a month now and while I knew kids today are growing up too fast, I was hit with that fact while subbing in a middle school. When I was in middle school I was still attached to certain things like my teddy bears and “dating” meant simply saying a guy was my boyfriend. I think I was the same for most girls I knew. Today its different. You can see the kids growing up way to fast and becoming concerned with things that are too old for them.

There was a middle schooler when I subbed that told her friends that she had a credit card. Now what would an 11 year old (or so) need with a credit card? Or even a cell phone for that matter. Whenever these kids what responsibility they get cell phones, credit cards or whatever else they want. When I was younger if I wanted responsibility my mom gave me more chores to do. Higher expectations that needed to met before I was able to do anything I wanted.

i needed to show responsibility before I got my cell phone at 18. Kids these days throw a fit an get what they want. Back in the day we threw a fit and mom just let us tantrum but that didnt get what we wanted. No was no and there was no way around it we had to accept that. Kids are to spoiled and expect things to be handed to them instead of actually working for it. That needs to change.

Throwing a Fit

As a TSS I have seen many children throw a fit over something they couldn’t have or that they couldn’t go somewhere or watch a certain show or movie.  Children are prone to throwing fits.  The worst fits I have seen were not from the children that I have worked with or even the adults that I have worked with; it was from adults.  Fully grown men and women pitching a fit over something minor something that a child would cry about.

I think sometimes as adults we think we are entitled to things or try to well manipulate our way out of something or into something.  When we don’t get those things we tend to pitch a fit and don’t care who sees or what they think.  Its a matter of “blowing off steam” or releasing anger but we don’t know how to express it sometimes so we scream and shout and yell.  I know people who scatgoat the people around them.  Or instead of listening to those they scream and yell at they remove themselves from the situation still under the basis that they were right and not address it.

It seems that with kids its easier for them to understand they cant have something and let it go.  But as adults we don’t let anything go.  We dwell on them and let them anger us even more.  Then we hold grudges and have a hard time being around that person.  Maybe we should try to get back to little kid thinking and accept that not all of our wants and desires will be met now that we have grown.

Finding My Voice

The past few weeks of me substituting I have learned several different things.  Kids while there are differences from when I was younger, there are similarities.  But thats not one of the biggest things I am learning.  I am learning to make myself known.  Someone who is soft spoken like I am can barely be heard among the high school, or middle school chatter.  Or when I did talk, I wasn’t heard.  That is changing.

I am learning how to speak up and speak out.  While I am still soft spoken, students at least acknowledge they heard me.  Whether or not they follow the instructions I give them is another matter.  Students are students and when they see a substitue we all know what is going through their minds….”no work” or “free period” kind of thing.  A lot of them don’t even respond when I take roll, until I began telling them that they don’t answer they are marked absent.

So all it took for me to speak out and be heard is to become a substitute teacher and somewhat yell at kids all day.  Although its kind of fun when kids don’t think I mean what I say until it happens, then they freak out lol.  :D

Kira Potential

del.icio.us Tags: Death Note,Cain and Abel,Light,Shimigami,Manga,innate potential,Kira,moral fibers

I just finished reading the manga series Death Note a week ago or so. I had extra time during prep classes that I either read or wrote blog notes. But as I was reading the book I found myself siding with Light: Kira. Also the killer in the story. You see Light found a shimigami’s Death notebook and found out that anyone whose name he wrote into it died 40 seconds later of a heart ache or if he specified a death. Light ended up trying to create a utopia by killing all the criminals and slowly those who got in his way. His desire to create a utopia exceeded his moral fiber and values

What I found interesting was the fact that I didn’t want Light to get caught in the story. I wanted someone else to be killed. Which got me to thinking; I know I mentioned it a few weeks back, but what if I found a Death Note? Would I have the ability in me to write someone’s name in it? Would my desire to have a perfect world free of crime and violence drive me to try to accomplish what Light tried? Or would i give it back to the shimigami that the notebook belonged to and go about my business?

Even if it wasn’t a death note (cause really do they exist? Do Shimigami?) in the world. Would I have the capability to kill someone intentionally or not? Since Cain killed Abel (or is it Abel killed Cain?) is that capacity already in me? We all are born with sin, but are we born with the potential to kill someone later in life? Or commit some other crime? Or is that something to be debated with nurture verses nature? Is that capability exist because of the environment people are in?

Being Creative

I was reading an article the other day about generating the creativity within yourself.  A lot of people think that their creativity whether it is art, writing, music or whatever else should bring happiness to other people.  But that is a great misconception.  The article quoted an artist who stated “it doesn’t matter to the world whether you paint, dance or write.  The world will probably get by without the product of your efforts.  BuT that is not the point.  The point is what the inner process of following your creative impulses will do to you.”

Your creative being isn’t about what would make other people happy, its about making yourself happy and finding the things that you find beautiful.  You can be creative with anything you do write, draw, dance, even decorating your own house.  Creativity is all about you.  I love writing my blog and for a while there I quit because I didn’t think anyone else was reading it.  But I came to realize that writing isn’t about whether or not other people read it, but about making me happy.  Writing is something that I enjoy and something that relaxes me so why should I quit it because I simply think other people are not reading it.  I should write for me and no one else.

I think that’s how it is going to be, I am now going to write for me.  Write about my thoughts mainly for myself and if other people are reading it and getting something from my words, awesome.  If not, that’s perfectly fine too.

Happy Birthday

I know I already had a post for today but I wanted to do another one because of how special of a day today is.  One this day God blessed the world with a very strong and inspiring woman.  She may not know it but she has made a difference in the lives of many and will continue to do so until God calls her home.  I know she has made me into the woman I am today because she has been the perfect example for me.  She is my mom.

For so long my mom was a single mom raising two children.  While my brother and I didn’t get into too much trouble or did anything bad, I am sure we still made things difficult especially when we were entering into our teen years.  But no matter what my mom has been there for me and I know through anything I may go through she will continue to be there for me.  I cannot begin to say how many things she has taught me such as the value of hard work, making sacrifices for those you love.  She made as many sacrifices as there are stars in the night.

Today is a special day because it is her birthday.  I didn’t get to spend the day or weekend with her even though I wanted to, I even tried to plan a little surprise for her while I was moving, but alas she had to work.  But I want everyone to know, but mainly my mom how much she means to me and no matter where I am or how old I am..I will always need my mommy.

Love

Love…something people of all ages search for, and for some seems to be out of reach.  I admit that I was beginning to think that love and happiness was out of reach.  That unconditional love and trust didn’t exist anymore and that gentleman quality was lost among many men in this society.  Much to my surprise the date I went on 4 months ago turned out to be just what I wanted.

I will be the first to say that I was scared when I met Tom, skeptical that he was the kind of person he said he was when we began talking.  I didn’t know what to expect.  I was too used to men being something so different.  I have heard people say to stop looking for love and it will find you.  When Tom and I began talking I didn’t put much thought into it.  I actually kind of brushed off that he was remotely interested.  Even when he asked if he could take me out when he moved back to the area I was certain that he wasn’t interested in more than a friendship.  Silly me.

Now we are living together and I am sure there is a “honeymoon” period when things are great and we don’t completely get on each other’s nerves.  I am sure there will be more moments where I will glare at him and of course there will be times when we argue and disagree on different things.  But I also know that no matter what I couldn’t be mad at him for long. And I love him more than anything. That trumps being annoyed at someone.  After so many years of wondering if I was meant to find love and to be able to give someone that love I have to share, I have finally found it.  Cherishing it like the treasure that Tom is.

Lovingly Thankful

We all know I have been doing the thanksgiving post almost every week, well today is no different (new thing im trying posting daily or as much close to daily as I can).  For several weeks I have been giving the people in my life thanks for various different things.  Things they’ve done for and things that make them the person that they are.  This week I am going to give thanks to someone who means everything to me.  His love has made me a different person {in a good way}.  This week I give thanks to Tom.

Being goofy and random

Thinking of creative ways to do things

For making me laugh or holding me while I cry

Accepting and loving me for who I am

Being completely compassionate and patient

Sharing your heart with me

Helping me enjoy things that life has to offer

Being a kind and loving uncle, brother, son

Listening and being patient when I am being “silly”

Making sure I am taken care of in all ways

Being loyal not just to me but your friends.

Tomorrow this wonderful man and I are going to be moving in together. I cannot be more thankful that he is willing to share his life with me, that he would want to live with me.  There are so many things that make Tom who he is that I am more than thankful for.  And I am sure throughout the years there will be so many more things to be thankful for and to love about this man.

 

Moving On

As many of you know I am moving into a new apartment.  Move in day is Saturday!!  I can’t believe it came so fast.  We were actually thinking we may not have gotten the apartment but as luck has it we did.  We spent the past few weeks packing and trying to gather miscellaneous furniture that we did not have.  During that time I went through man different things including pictures and cards that others have given me in the past. 

As I came across a scrapbook I made several years ago, I stopped and flipped through it.  Remembering good times with some friends, and also grieving the loss of some friendships. Others I looked through and realized why it didn’t work and why those friendships and relationships  needed to end.  Going through those things and getting rid of some of them helped me let go of things.  Helped me move on; and become a better girlfriend to Tom.  He deserves the best that I can offer him, especially not that we are living together.

While going through the pictures of relationships gone by I thought of everything I wanted, needed and wished for…they all are things I find in Tom.  The men who were important to him in the past all had different qualities and quarks.  But none were what I needed though at the time I thought they were.  When I look back at them I realized that Tom is everything I prayed to God about.  And while we are taking a big step in our relationship, the idea of living with him does not scare me.  im not worried about things the way I was when I discussed in the past.

Moving in together takes a lot of commitment and dedication to each other.  In order to give Tom that total commitment I already know I have, I needed to get rid of things, past hurts.  While I am packing and throwing out material things…I am also throwing out emotional baggage.  I am moving on to a new chapter in life, and moving on from the pain of the past.  It’s in the trash with the other  unwanted items.

Unexpected Things

I heard a quote the other day while I was watching Remember The Titans.  Bertier (one of the main characters) said” When something unexpected comes, you gotta pick it up an run with it.”  After I heard it I kept thinking about it and how it makes sense.  We cannot always be afraid of something unexpected or fear what life has to throw in our path.  Its an open opportunity to pick it up and run.

Everything that is thrown into our paths can end in two ways, something negative or something positive.  While we may struggle with things in life, it gives us an opportunity to learn something else or opens the door to new things.  Many people struggle with something different.  Its a chance to pick it up and run with it, see where it takes you.  Sometimes it takes you to higher places and allows you to try something unexpected.  Or if you leave it, it can bring  you down and destroy you.

I think unexpected things happen to us for a reason.  Or why would they happen.  I have been trying to not let something unexpected bring me down or stop me in my tracks instead I try to follow it, pick it up and run to see where it takes me.  Sure I may struggle, but every struggle has an end.

Goofy

So Im sitting here working on photo editing stuff and looking through pictures of friends in the past and some from recent like New Years and Halloween. I realized something all my friends and I have in common. We are all awesomely goofy. We all act crazy and do odd things that make most people look at us oddly like Steve in the picture.

I think of all the times spent with Melissa and the odd and off the wall things we have done, like sitting on the sidewalk in front of my parents house playing with sidewalk chalk and wooden blocks, or spending 8 hours one night coming up with random and odd situations about a guy we worked with. Or even getting somewhat yelled at in a training.

I don’t think I would have half as much fun with my friends if we didn’t act as goofy as we do, like Josh having a British accent, Crissy being idk what she was, and Tom being Sean Connery during Dirty Minds. The game still would have been fun, but them randomly adding accents to it made it even more fun. We could be doing nothing and still have a good time and carry on.

I think about some of my other friends whom I have lost over the years and I try to figure out why we seemed to have drift apart and wonder if it’s because that goofy random quality was missing?

Sisterly Thanks

Yep that time again for me to give thanks to someone special in my life.  Someone who has made a great impact even if he doesn’t realize that.  Growing up the only person my age I talked to or interacted with was my brother.  People keep asking if we are twins, though we are not.  When I sit down and think about my brother and the fun times we’ve had, I realized…I would be lost without my brother in my life.  So here’s a giant sized thank  you to my brother:

Watching over me while growing up

Listening me rant when you’d rather do something else

Trying to get to me to do new things with you

Being strong-willed and kindhearted

Calling everyday during my treatments just to say hi

Making me laugh whenever I’d cry

Being completely random :D

Being an example of hardwork and dedication

Getting me to experience another culture through music and  literature (manga)

Supporting me through any decision I make

Protecting me whenever someone tried to hurt me

When I decided to do my weekly thanks, I set restrictions for myself that it would be 10 things that I am thankful.  But now that I am doing people I am thankful for it is hard to restrict everything to 10 things.  I could go on for 10 more.  When it comes down to it, I am thankful for everything my brother is and has done.  I am proud to say that I am his sister.

Losing Compassion

As I said earlier this week, I am now a substitute teacher in the city of Pittsburgh as well as being a TSS.  While a TSS I witness many different things including other TSS’s within my company and another completely losing compassion for the children we work with.  People give up on the kids or move on to a different job and just leave the kids, without saying good-bye.  I have a hard time understanding this.  I was upset almost to tears because I couldn’t tell one of my clients good-bye and explain to her why I was leaving.  I kept one because I don’t have the heart to leave her.  She has had so many people up and leave her, so I am staying on which means I will drive to Washington for two hours and then come back home twice a week .  Its worth it to me if I help her.

While subbing I have also seen the lose of compassion for the students.  Some teachers just take off and not leave work for the subs to give the students.  Many schools don’t even have a full time teacher for some classes.  If there is no sub for the day then the students get shuffled around to other classes, just to give them a place to go during that period.  Some students have said they haven’t learned anything in almost a month because a specific teacher has been out for much of that time.  It’s sad that many of the kids get the brush off because some teachers are ill or some just simply don’t care about the kids.

I am seeing more and more people loss compassion.  They don’t care about anyone else.  There are so many jobs in residential homes that don’t require a degree and many people won’t go for those jobs because they “don’t do diapers” or won’t work shifts, or don’t want to deal with some of the stereotypes of residential homes.  Sure there are some that are dangerous but there are others.  Where has all the compassion gone?  Why are we now only looking out for number 1?  People are always saying the believe in this this and that, but when it comes down to standing up for those believes they back down like a dog with his tail between his legs.

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear

As most of you know I have gotten a job and I have started it this week: monday was my first day.  Many people who have heard that I am subbing for the Pittsburgh Public Schools have told me horror stories.  I subbed (or rather subbing) at a school in Oakland, close to Carlow University and PITT.  When going to any school you never know what to expect; other than typical high school stuff and that is what I have seen among other things.

Monday I wasn’t given anything to do with the kids such as worksheets or review anything.  Nothing.  What surprised me is many of the kids in the classes I had were incredibly upset about it.  Some asked if they could do homework for other classes so they could be constructive.  Others complained that they weren’t learning anything new and voiced their anger about it.  The rest of the week the school staff including another math teacher helped get me things to give them to work on for the period, so that helped.

I admit I was a little weary about my first day especially with the school I am at.  I have heard many things from other people about the school, and I didn’t realize it was this one until I seen a friend  here.  While this school’s students may have a bad reputation or rather the city having a bad reputation.  I have seen normal teenagers trying to find acceptance, education, friendship, and more.  I think we are too quick to pass judgment.  People tell me to be careful because the kids in Pittsburgh schools are violent…I have not seen any more violence in the city schools that I haven’t seen in country schools.  I think people think “the big city” is a dangerous place with drugs , violence and alcohol.  Its the same wherever you go.  Can’t believe everything you hear.

New Year Expectations

Here it is the fourth day of the new year.  Has anyone begun their resolutions they have set for this year?  Or is it the thinking that “I have all year” to do things that would “improve” the way we live?  I don’t know what this year has in store for me, no body does.  I am excited to see what blessings will come and lessons I will learn throughout the year.  I also worry about what struggles may arise during this new year.  Last year was definitely a year of surprises, some good and some well not so good.  No one can expect to always have good things happening in their lives.  We don’t need to expect the bad, but prepare ourselves in knowing that struggles may appear throughout the year.

Every year we all start it off thinking “yes this year will be the best year.”  “this year is going to be the year I do …… and ……” whatever the …… maybe, how many of us are able to say that we have done everything we set out to do that year?  We never think “okay this will be a good year, but along with the good there is bound to be some bad.”

I didn’t expect some of the struggles I had last year or the good for that matter.  There is no real way of preparing yourself for the unexpected whether it is a loss of a job or the death of a family member, or even something minor like the loss of a friendship.  I grieve over the loss of many of my friends, some new and some old.  I have no clue what will present itself throughout the new year but I anticipate it and look forward to anything life has to throw at me this year.  Lets hope I can handle it with God’s help.

Death Notes

I have been reading some manga that my brother wanted me to read, and then anime that goes with it called Death Note.  Basically is about Death Gods who have note books that they write people’s names in and well the people die.  In this manga, a Death god: Ryuk gets bored and drops his notebook into the human world.  A young man Light Yagami picks it up and decides to use it to kill the criminals and make the world free of crime.  But…what he is doing is considered murder and the serial killer is name “kira” and is investigated by the world’s best detective L.  The story goes on and on; a few twists and turns are thrown into it.

I got to thinking.  What if something like that existed?  What if the Angels of Death had lets say a list of people that are supposed to die and it somehow gets found by a human.  Would we have enough faith to understand the complexities of it, or are we going to be greedy little buggers and use it to our own personal gain like several characters in the series?  The idea that I am going with are even the most innocent of people…capable of killing other people “for the sake of the world” like Light? or will we try to just make our own lives better?

New Years

This year we spent New Years with Tom’s friends (and mine  now) we had a great time.  At one point Josh acquired a British accent and Tom was Sean Connery.  There was much food and good cheer spread even Jack joined the party by hiding under the tree (bungo kitty).  The girls even dressed up in sexy dresses and I looked good haha.

There were times when I just sat back watching Tom and was so thankful that I found him.  I finally got to ring in the new year with someone who honestly loves me and I love him dearly.  While I watched him interact with his friends and I interacted with the girls (three of us tried to have girl-talk but the boys interrupted) I realized how important ringing in the new year with him was.  2010 wasn’t the year I expected it to be and Tom was my blessing this year.  Giving him that kiss at midnight was the best (not that our kisses havent been amazing) there is something about kissing the person you love the most at midnight romantic and special.

It was cuter when I laid on the couch and he was “petting” my head while he was asleep.  He did not remember any of this when I told him the next day.  But it seems I cannot put into words how special and amazing this year was for me.  I didn’t realize it until Friday Night.