Thinking

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the past four years or so. It’s been four years since the doctors told me I had cancer. Four years since I was told that there was 5 cancerous tumors throughout my lymph node system. Four years since my body was cut open, since I had poison coursing through my body. My hair has grown for four years. Its really been four years since I was told I was cancer free. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, but at the same time it does. When you think about 4 years isn’t all too long. Especially when you look at the bigger picture. Four years ago my life could have ended. It was being Hodgkin’s and Non-Hodgkin’s. By chance, I had the good kind.

While I still feel somewhat the same person, I know things are different and not because of side effects or anything, but more because I see things differently. I’ve learned more the importance of small things like blooming roses or simply watching the snow fall, or the smile on my cat’s face when he lays in a sun beam (yes he smiles). I keep thinking that four years ago could have been the end of my life, but it wasn’t. Sure things were bad and no one wants to hear the word cancer come out of their doctor’s mouth, but it could have been worse. Does that sound weird or bad? I was lucky. My cancer was curable, there are so many people who sit in chemotherapy or radiation for months on end, with no sign of a change. There are people who the cancer has claimed their life. I was lucky I am still here. I should cherish my life and not take it or the things in life for granted.

I have been trying not to take anything for granted and live life to the fullest. I don’t want my life to be “Wasted” so to speak. As the saying goes, you only have one life to live. We should cherish it and not take certain things for granted. I dont know if my life would be the same as it is now if I wasn't diagnosed or if I would still have changed. But I am thankful that I went through that experience.