I did something on Sunday I wasn't sure I would ever be able to do. I let go of a past hurt, in fact I let go of the person who was causing me so much pain. I let go of all the unanswered questions that will forever be unanswered. I let go of my father.
It is something I should have done several years ago, would have spared myself a lot of unnessary pain and heartache. I had no control over his decisions and actions. His life was his and if he chose to live it without his children that was all on him. It was hard to let go of him, of something I held onto for so long.
Last year he passed away, so it should be easier to have let him go right? It was actually harder especially since I didnt go to his funeral. Does that make me a bad person, not going to his funeral? Dont get me wrong I grieved for him, but he caused so much pain and was never around, why should I honor his life?
Since letting it go and saying I am not going to let him hurt me anymore, feels like a load has been lifted. I still have a way to go to completely let it go, but its a start to getting better.
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