I finished reading Veronkia Decides to Die and it really got me thinking. No not about suicide, though in the past I admit I did. In the novel Veronika tries to kill herself for various reasons,and ends up in a mental hospital. While there she is told she will die from heart issues; she learns of a new zest for life. She learns to appreciate the little things she took for granted such as the love of her parents and the love of another.
In the past when I was a teenager, i was unhappy with a lot of things and like Veronika thought the only way out of it was to die. I did things to hurt myself and yes I am ashamed of those things, but they make me stronger and the woman I am today. Throughout the years I have learned to appreciate life, especially after being diagnosed with cancer. Things have a new meaning and I think back and sometimes wonder why I couldn’t see the good things in life before? Things that are worth living for.
Much like the characters in the novel, I have decided that I don’t want to go on living as if I am afraid. What do I really need to be afraid of? Yes is have panic attacks but those are manageable easily. But what should I be afraid of? Nothing. I have a great life, one full of plenty of things to be happy about. Instead of thinking about the not so good things in my life I am going to try to focus more on the things that I should be happy about. The things I appreciate more than anything.
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