Life is What You Make It

I know the title sounds a little bit too much like a Miley Cyrus song, but it is true. Too often I hear people say "I hate my life" or "F*&^ my life" and so on. I think we expect life to be a certain why and when it doesn't go that way we get upset and angry about it. We complain and bring more negativity to our lives. This weekend I was upset about something I forget what it was, but while I was upset I didn't have fun at the convention. But when I decided to think positively and forget about what I was so upset about I had a lot of fun.

Life is what you make it out to be. I think that if you think negatively and speak negatively then you will see life as negative and it would be hard to have fun. While when you have positive thoughts a speak positively, i think it is easier to have fun even if wherever you are is boring. Sure things will happen in life that suck and cause you to struggle. Such is life, there is nothing you can do about it. I think during those trials we should think of positive things something that makes us happy and the struggles won't seem as bad. I know that is easier said than done.

I learned recently if I just sat here on the computer all the time an didnt do anything else, my life would be boring and uneventful. I think that if I want life to be positively and enjoyable, then I need to make it that way. I need to stop thinking negatively and live my life without my negativity. Lets see where this takes me.

Dear 10 Year Old Me

I seen a writing prompt to write a letter to a 10 year old you so here's a shot at it.

Dear 10 Year Old Me

In the next 20 years there will undoubtedly be hard times and good times. Remember the hard times will make you learn about yourself and learn who and what truly matters in life. You are going to want to give up and not fight for things anymore, but you can't. You need to fight for everything including your friends and family. If you don't you may lose some friends, and if you do that's okay.

I know right now you do not like what you see in the mirror, you don't find beauty in who you are and wish to be someone else. God made you different because he loves you and thinks you are beautiful the way you are. Half of being beautiful is loving who you are and having confidence in yourself. That resonates from within and others find that beautiful. You may feel like and outsider, like you don't fit in but as life goes on people will come into your life that share the same interest. Do not be afraid to be who you are, don't allow anyone to make you feel like you are not worth anything; you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.

Mistakes always happen, and you can be sure you will make them, but it is not the end of the world. Some can be mended and other learned from. Try not to beat yourself up over a little mistakes. Dont be afraid to try new things, take risks, go on an adventure. Life is what you make it and you need life experiences. Love life and love yourself.

Love
30 year old me

PS Start going to Tekkoshocon in 2002, you will eventually meet the man of your dreams lol

Stepping out of comfort zone

So as you probably know I have been working on trying to make myself step out of my comfort zone and do something that I normally wouldn't do. Something that would make me so nervous and self conscience. Lately I have been doing a good job at it. I have talked to people first, initiated conversation with strangers at anime conventions and ended up making a few friends which I am very happy about. In the past year I have made 3-4 new friends just because of anime conventions because I took that leap and talked to someone I don't know. So I am trying to keep up with it, I am trying to do more things that send me out of my comfort zone.

One of those things includes somewhat being the center of attention. My friend has a dance band, and during the first set of songs not many people dance and/or participate. So I am going to be the one to try and get people to dance by either trying to talk them into it or dancing myself. Now normally I wouldn't dance without at least one friend, but as the "audience participation manager" I think I should suck it up and dance even when other people aren't. The theory is that if people see even one person dancing then others will come and dance. So I am going to give this a try.

Now I am terrified to do something like this, but I am going to try. I know the one guitar player asked me at the last concert if I would be dancing so at least I know the band likes when I dance and bring other people to the floor, and I also do the Thriller dance with Crissy and of course "shot shot shot' where we take shots. I want to be able to get past my anxiety and fears dealing with social situations. This is one of the ways I can do that. One of the ways I can be the person I want to be without fear of social situations and anxiety. This is a way I can be out of my comfort zone. Wish me luck

Trying to be someone else

A lot of the time we think that other people are better thn us or we long to be someone because we think their life is better than our own.  We tend to think our lives are worse than anothers.  I heard something on KLOVE they said "when you try or long to be someone else you are insulting his intelligence."  Its a good way of putting it.

God made us different meaning we are designed differently, in a special unique way.  God thought of us and our lives with something special in mind, so that we are not like everyone else. We are not meant to be like other people nor are our lives supposed to be the same as someone elses. Sure we ma go through the same experiences nd share life's joys and sorrows, but we learn different things, grow in different ways, and live in different ways. Why should we be like other people. How could we be like other people and be happy about it?

I know I do it. I have thought to myself "I wish I was pretty like her." or ".... seems to have a good life I wish mine was easier like that." We all are guilty of wanting something someone else has no matter what it is, but we we act upon it and actively try to be someone we are not, we are insulting the design of who we are. Who are who we are, if we try to be someone else or wish we were someone else, I would think that we lose a part of who we are. We lose our essence so to speak. Is that something we want? I think we should just simply try to be ourselves.

Thanks

I like taking some time and thinking about the things in life that I am thankful to have.  No matter how big or how small.  Life is full of things to be thankful for.  I know I have been focusing on people I am thankful for, so I think I will look at things.

Klove: technically this one is people, and some people any think its funny to be thankful for a radio station.  But I have to say listening to the morning show on my way to wotk helps prepare me for work.  It gets my mind where it needs to be in order to help my clients.  They are encouraging.

My cats: all three of my cats just make me laugh and bring me so much joy.  They seem to be so innocent and just being with us makes them happy, even Orion.  Its a warm feeling to have three little bodies laying on our feet as we sleep.

A warm bath:  there is nothing more relaxing than laying in a warm bath, with and without bubbles, and a good book.  It helps me relax after a long stressful day at work.  I can almost feel the stress wash off when im in the water.  A good book just takes me away for a few minutes and I am able to transition from work to home.

The snow:  I know I complain about the cold, but I am thankful for snow.  Its beautiful when it falls to the ground.  It reminds me of my grandpap and how much he liked the snow.  Whenever it falls I think about him and smile.

There are many things to be thankful for and I know that sometimes I take things for granted.  I want to change that.

30 Day Challenge

Well I am in my 3rd week of my 30 day challenge, and I deviated once.  I think I might go for an extra week of nothing but Christian music.  But anyway it is my third week and I definitely feel different.

My thoughts are positive instead of being constantly negative.  Stress doesnt seem to effect me as much.  Its easier to let go of somethings.  Even my anxiety hasn't reared its ugly head my way.  Things are changing and I am feeling a lot better about a lot of things just by listening to positive things including the fun banter of Klove's morning show.

Im happier maybe more people should try listening to positive things.  Maybe not Christain music, its not what everyone likes, but something positive with negative lyrics.  I think the music we listen to does effect our thinking and actions.

1 Year

It offically has been one year since Tom and I moved in together.  I never would have thought I woukd have moved in  with someone after five months, but I did and I have never been happier.  I have learn a lot the past year.  Things about Tom and things about myself.

I learned the importance of letting things go and picking battles.  Ive learned how important the little things are and what it means to appreciate someone.  Granted the are times when we get annoyed with each other, thats life.  I dont know anyone who doesnt get annoyed with someone they live with.  But those times dont last long nor do they effect the love we share.

After a year of living together and year and five months of dating, he still makes my heart flutter and I cant wait to come home to him each day.  Weve formed a partnership and things are no longer about me, its about us.

Happy Birthday

Today is my moms birthday, so I thought todays post should be about her.  While growing up she taught me values and morals I need to be successful.  She helped me see where true happiness lies.  She showed me the importance of family and to cherish them.  Also to not take them for granted.

My mom showed me strength during troubling times.  And what integrity as a woman is.  I think I can say without her I wouldnt be here.  She showed me that in the darkest of dark there is light. 

Some people might say my mom and I are too close.  In fact it has been said.  But honestly it is not a bad thing to love and admire my mom.  She has been a shining example of a strong woman and I think of I am half the woman, half the mom she is then I am blessed.  Happy Birthday mommy.

30 Day Challenge

The one radio station I listen to: Klove has a 30 day challenge of listening to nothing but Christian music for 30 days.  I decided to take this challenge on Tuesday and honestly I think it is doing me good. 

I listen to Klove in the morning on my way to work and then a cd on my way home it could be anything from Jeremy Camp to Skillet.  I am still listening to Christian music but also rock with Skillet and Thousand Foot Krutch.  But regardless of what I am listening to I am doing this challenge.

My way of thinking has altered a little already.  I am thinking more positively and negative thoughts are not coming as often as they once did.  I even feel like I habe more energy to tackle the day and chase aftet my clients >_<.  I look forward to somethings I dreaded and even find myself waking up a little easier.  Sure its.still a bear getting up but im not struggling as much.

Most importantly to me is that I am feeling Toms love more and seeing things he is doing for me out of his love.   And its not just him but other people in my life.  I am seeing more people who really care instead of feeling like no one does.  Its only been a day but I am already feeling the impact.  Can't wait to see what happens within the next few days.

New Year

It is upon us! The New Year, and this is my first post of the new year. Im not really sure where I am going to go with it but meh. Everyone comes up with things they want to happen or accomplish during the year and I don't think I am going to do that, I never was the type of person who did. When I think about it, nothing changes each year. It's just a year and progresses as normal. No big fireworks (unless someone sets them off)or huge change in everything when that clock strikes midnight on Dec 31.

I look forward to this new year. I am looking forward to what it has to offer and the new things I will accomplish and experience. There are so many things to anticipate in the new year. I know there are people who expect good things and plan on the good things, but I wonder if there are people who try to plan on the bad things and try to anticipate what bad things could happen this year. I look forward to what this year has in store for me, but I'm not going out of my way to figure out what is going to happen.