This week has been so full of stress and heartache. I had my fears about somethings, and those fears presented themselves to be true. Someone who claimed to love me, didn't actually love me and used me for whatever purpose and I cannot figure out why. I don't have closure over the end of the relationship and at this point whatever. It seems cowardly to me, but some men are like that. It does depress me more and make me feel like a fool for allowing him into my life and my heart. I am tired of people toying with my heart and emotions. I am tired of being loyal and open and honest with people only to have it fall in around me. Why is it so hard for me to find someone who will treat me with the respect that I deserve?
Right now I am starting to feel like I am not good enough. That there must be something wrong with me to not be able to find someone who would treat me the way Song of Solomon says a man should treat a woman. Like when would it all end? When would I find the person that God has set out for me? I just want to be able to find someone to spend my life with and someone who will want to share his life with me, share his happiness the way I want to share mine. I thought I had someone who cared about me, said things to me only to have it all fall in around me, only to find out he lied the whole time.
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