Weekly Thanks

Time again to look at my life and give thanks for the things in my life no matter how big or how small.  Doing this I have learned a lot of different things because I have looked hard at my life looking at things I take for granted and realized that I take a lot of things for granted, like having hot water to shower with.  Things like that that we don’t think of but we should be thankful for.

Clean water to drink

Smile on a child’s face

My car..being able to pay for it

Smell of fresh cut grass or new fallen snow

Stars twinkling in the sky:  shooting stars

Parents who love me, a brother I’d do anything for

The softness of my cat’s fur (I love when she curls up near my head when I sleep)

Music…just in general…life would be boring without music

My best friend…to elaborate would take too long

Memories: good and bad

My boyfriend: no words can describe why I am thankful for him

My mistakes….I’ve learned from some, others..not so much.

I think too often we have a hard time looking at our life and being thankful for everything we have.  This is the perfect time of year to just sit back and think about what we are thankful for.  Things we tend to take for granted, and not appreciate.  When we do that, I think half the things wrong in life don’t seem so bad when we realize what we truly have.

Resolutions

Every year people make new years resolutions and there was a time when I did too, but not so much anymore.  Many times when people make resolutions it is something to improve themselves, change about themselves, but I don’t want to change anything about myself.  I am happy the way God made me.  So instead my resolutions, or rather hopes for the new year are a little different.  I strive to make life better, not just for myself but for those around me.  For example I want to make more memories with friends and family.

Sure I want to get a little out of debt this year (appears I can get my credit card paid off this year).  But while I am in debt I am happy, I like paying attention to the little things, so one of my resolutions is to stop and smell the roses more…literally.  To enjoy the sunset more, fine ways to show Casey he matters.  Most of all one of my resolutions is to walk closer to God.  To see his hand in all aspects of my life, not just the ones I want to see, or can plainly see.  I plan to pray more, read/study more, question more, research more.  I believe when I focus more on God and his plan for my life the other things will start to fall into place once again.

Everything seemed to get disheveled, and I am starting to think it is because I took my focus off of God.  Its time to get my focus back to where it belongs.  Things are already looking up they can only get better.

New Year

It has finally come, the new year.  Last year seemed to have come and gone pretty quickly and was overall a good year.  Sure there was some ups and downs, but what year is always good or always bad?  Sometimes you just need to take the good with the bad and realize that it is all worth it in the end to look back and reflect on how it has changed you.  I know the bad things in the past year happened for a reason; some I saw the reason short-terms others will have long-term effects.

This past year I have made so many new memories all the way til the very end of the year 2009.  Sure there was heartache, depression, stress, frustration and more, but those are all a part of life and don’t ruin what the year held for me.  I think back on this past year and see so many things to be thankful for rather than things to be upset over, and why be upset over it rather than leave it in the past?

I am looking forward to this coming year.  I look forward to what blessings God will provide this year, the happiness and memories that will be made as well as the stress I may have to endure and the heartache because it is all life, it is all what God intends for us to go through each day of our lives.  Happy New Year to you all and may it be as wonderful as the last.

Childlike Innocence

The other night I was on the phone with Casey, and his daughter wanted to talk to me.  While on the phone she asked me where was my house; so I told her Pennsylvania: i could hear her telling Casey what I said that in itself was cute and so innocent.  But what made my day and made me honestly think of childlike innocence was when I asked her where was her house….her response was so innocent, so quick not a second thought…..”right here”  That makes perfect sense doesn’t it?  Where is your house….right here. 

Her answer was just so innocent and made me remember what really matters in life, the simple things and that includes the innocent, simplistic answers that kids come up with.  Why is it that we adults don’t think like that anymore?  Why do we feel the need to sit down and analyze everything we are asked and analyze every decision we have to make?  Why can’t things be as simple as they are for children?  Why can’t we see things as simple and worry-free or unconditional as a child like Dai does.

Children have such innocent thinking that somehow escapes us when we become adults.  When is it that that kind of innocence leaves us?  All three times that I have talked to Dai on the phone she has said or done something that reminds me why I love children and how much they can teach us.  She has tried to show me something through the phone not realizing I couldn’t see it, today she told me her shoes were blue.  All three times she has asked me to come over, again not realizing that I am not as close as she may thin.

Perception is Reality

The other day I posted something about what is real and what we perceive as reality.  How do we know what is reality for us is reality for someone else?  Is my reality the same as say Terry’s reality, or Carrie’s or Jeremy’s?  Or are they something different?  And if they are something different how do we know what is real in life?  How does that line not get blurred in the mix of friends with people and interacting with them daily?

If people have different realities that we perceive and interact in, wouldn’t that mean our own reality gets mixed with theirs and becomes something new?  What we perceive is different on a daily basis, or at least it becomes different at some point in our lives, and when that happens how do we know that it is real or not?  Who is to say what is real, if what we perceive is real?  The way I see things is different from how someone else would view it, would that make what I perceive less real, or what they perceive is less real?

How can we say some people with mental health issues or behavioral health issues have a distorted view of reality?  How can do know? What if we are the ones with a distorted view of reality?  Or even what if everyone has a distorted view of reality; kinda like a Matrix kind of thing?  Then how can anyone really know what reality is and therefore know what is real and what isn’t?

Friendships

I just got off the phone with one of the greatest people I know.  The entire time we talked we laughed hysterically.  I haven’t laughed that much in a long time.  It has been awhile since I had gotten the chance to really talk to Cheryl and it was so good to talk to her again.  We have the same sense of humor and find the same things funny, we can take things and run with it the most extreme, and sometimes take it to the most wrongest of levels.

Sometimes you need that kind of a friend who you can get into trouble with so to speak, somewhat of a partner in crime.  Since the day we met Cheryl and I have said we would be partners in crime.  While we have fun with each other and laugh about a lot  of things in life; we can also be serious and talk about many different things in life, no matter what they are relationships, jobs, sex, anything.  But isn’t that part of what makes a friendship meaningful?  Isn’t that what makes friendships one of the greatest treasures in the world?  I admit I don’t talk to her as much as I would like and I am making a promise to myself that is going to change, as it is with many of my other friends.  Even though Cheryl and I have not met in person I still love her as if we had known each other for years.

What is it that brings two people together as friends the way Cheryl and I are friends, or the way Donya and I are friends which are two different ways.  What makes some people friends and others…acquaintances, or not even friends at all? 

Choices

The choices we make play a part into our future.  They make a different in what happens and where our lives go.  Everything that happens is effect by what we decide.  For example my life would be completely different if I had gone to Myrtle Beach in the spring like I wanted.  I don’t really know where I would be.  And I am presented with the same option again.  But do I go, or do I stay.  I know that decision will effect everything from here on out.

Sometimes our decisions work for the good in our lives and other times they work for the bad.  We decide where our lives head, which path they take.   Our choices are exactly that our choices and we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for what happens as the result of them. If I spend all my money on say shoes, clothes or whatever I cannot complain if I cant pay my bills because I made that choice.

No one else makes our choices,we try to blame other people for things in our lives, we don’t always want to take responsibility for our choices and therefore our actions.  But how does that make anything better?  How does not taking responsibility for our choices and actions help us make better choices and therefore live our lives better?