Feb 8, 2010

Hard Things in Life

The other day I posted a short post about doing something very hard, something that took all the strength I had.  But it needed to be done.  I forgave my rapist.  I have come a long way from the horrible night in 2001.  Forgiving the man gave me more strength then I thought it would.  When I forgave him I wasn’t saying what he did to me was okay, that it didn’t hurt emotionally and well physically, or that it wasn’t wrong.  Forgiving him was saying I am taking control over my life again.  I am not letting his actions rule me and cause my depressions.

The moment I gave it to God and forgave the man who hurt me the worst way, I felt a relief, a weight being lifted.  I felt free for the first time in 9 years.  Holding on to that pain, heartache, resentment, and bitterness just took a toll on me.  It destroyed me more than I thought it did.  It took a hold of my life and only brought me down more.  Took control of myself even though I thought I had control of it.    But letting go and forgiving the man who raped me…gave me control back.

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