Letting Go.

I started this post off as something completely different, but it didn't seem to flow and there was something else that needed to come out. So hence the new post haha. We all have a past, and sometimes that past hurts us and does damage to our present and future no matter how hard we try not to let. The past hurts I have seems to have caused me to put up a wall to those around me and is effecting my relationships with people. I think of why i have a hard time talking to people and I think it is because I am too afraid to let people get close to me, so I don't even try sometimes. Too many people in the past has hurt me and I don't want to get hurt, but I think the fact that I try to protect myself is actually keeping me from meeting someone wonderful, because I never let anyone in close enough.

My prayer lately has been for God to help me let go of all of my past hurts and be able to actually let someone into my life and possibly have a good relationship with someone. A friend told me not to do this for the guy, but for myself and I honestly think that I want to do this for me. I want to make a step forward not backwards. I realize I live in the past...past hurts and past fears that I need to let go of if I want to find happiness in the present and the future. I know God has a lot planned for me and I think sometimes that I don't even allow myself to go after what God has planned because I live in the past hurts. I don't want to live there anymore. I need to let all of that go and start new. God gave me a new look on life, basically a new life and I need to start new. I need to leave all the past in the past and move forward. Give Eric everything he deserves out of me. If it doesn't work out then I know I would have given my all.