Moving Forward

Sometimes it is hard to move forward when we have so many past hurts that we hold onto. Sometimes we become so jaded and bitter towards things that we just clam up and not move forward in anything including our walks with God. We tend to question him and wonder why a merciful God would allow us to be so hurt sometimes. I think there are times when we think that simply because we are Christians we won't have go through heartache and pain like this, but it is quite the opposite. Some times we have o deal with even more pain.

I have been thinking a lot about my past pains and have prayed about it with Pastor. Simply sitting at the alter saying that I want to give up all these past hurts and pains and give them to God helped, but I know I need to do more than that. I find myself getting bitter towards someone because he wants me to open up to him, and it would just cause me more pain. But sometimes that what we need to do in order to move forward and not let the hurts from the past over rule our lives. Maybe...just maybe in order to really move forward we need to face the past hurts head on and allow them to hurt us as much as possible while we relive them and give them up to God. I would think that would make us a little bit stronger, but could that also destroy us?

We need to be able to overcome our pains to appreciate our relationship with Christ better. What pains do you need to overcome.

Letting Go.

I started this post off as something completely different, but it didn't seem to flow and there was something else that needed to come out. So hence the new post haha. We all have a past, and sometimes that past hurts us and does damage to our present and future no matter how hard we try not to let. The past hurts I have seems to have caused me to put up a wall to those around me and is effecting my relationships with people. I think of why i have a hard time talking to people and I think it is because I am too afraid to let people get close to me, so I don't even try sometimes. Too many people in the past has hurt me and I don't want to get hurt, but I think the fact that I try to protect myself is actually keeping me from meeting someone wonderful, because I never let anyone in close enough.

My prayer lately has been for God to help me let go of all of my past hurts and be able to actually let someone into my life and possibly have a good relationship with someone. A friend told me not to do this for the guy, but for myself and I honestly think that I want to do this for me. I want to make a step forward not backwards. I realize I live in the past...past hurts and past fears that I need to let go of if I want to find happiness in the present and the future. I know God has a lot planned for me and I think sometimes that I don't even allow myself to go after what God has planned because I live in the past hurts. I don't want to live there anymore. I need to let all of that go and start new. God gave me a new look on life, basically a new life and I need to start new. I need to leave all the past in the past and move forward. Give Eric everything he deserves out of me. If it doesn't work out then I know I would have given my all.

Wants and Desires

Throughout life there are things that we want that we cant have whether it be items, jobs, relationships anything. There are different things everyone wants but we don't always get what we want and too often people like to blame God for not having what we want. Sometimes those things aren't the best things for us or God has something else planned for us, something better. Or we will not be able to accomplish some of the things God has planned for us that we would without the desires we have. I admit there is a relationship that I never wanted to end, but it did. I care deeply for this person and think he is wonderful in every way. While I would like to be in his life again, I know there is a reason why we aren't together. God has something better planned for both of us and that is something that I hold on to. I know God has someone in my life who will be better for me than he was and sometimes that is something that I cannot imagine.

God knows what is best for us and no matter how hard or how much we pray, simply because we want something does not mean we will be able to get it. We cannot blame God because we don't have the things we want in life but ask him for the things He has planned for us, the job, the relationships, and whatever else we may think we "need." What we think we need may not always be the best things for us. When we don't get what we want, we shouldn't stop talking to God or seeking his will in our lives or anything of that sort. Sure I am upset at the end of a perfectly good relationship, but I am also looking forward to what God has in store for me for the future. God wants us to learn things and grow as people and sometimes those un-answered prayers are his way of teaching us those things.

Aqcuire The Fire

Next month I am volunteering at Acquire The Fire when they come to Pittsburgh. I am excited to be a part of this big youth convention. As soon as I mentioned it to the teens in my church, pretty much all of them said they wanted to go which is pretty exciting in my eyes. Teens that are excited for something. If you don't know much about Acquire The Fire, it is a youth conference with special speakers, bands, workshops and all kinds of stuff. It is generally two days and I guess sometimes it can be three. I have gone in the past and really enjoyed myself, and I decided to volunteer and do whatever they needed me to do to give back to the group as well as maybe get the chance to talk to some teens, meet other Christians my age in the area and make some nice connections within the ministry realm.

I got most excited when my teens said they wanted to go. Two of which are from other countries: Belgium and Italy. This is something they would not have gotten to experience in their countries and probably if they had gone somewhere other than here. Having high school exchange students is an experience I think everyone should take advantage of, but that is for a different post (I have so many in my mind that you will never know when there will be a new post LOL. I'll try not to have two in one day hehe). But the teens in my church seem to be excited about this event and I hope they will be able to make new friends the way they do at camp or make certain connections especially those who are graduating like Danelle. I think your youth pastor would take a lot from the youth pastor seminar if he is able to go, if I wasn't volunteering I would be a part of that since I help him out, but still being a volunteer is something exciting. I cannot wait...I keep trying to think of things to do to get the days to go by faster so that it will be time to go HAHA.

The group that organizes this event is massive and does other teen ministries throughout the country that I would like to get involved with and try to get our teens involved with since we have such a small group. I think it is a good idea to get them out meeting other teens and getting involved with things like this. But yea that is what I am looking forward to at the moment. :)

Easter

In a few days children across the country will run through fields looking for eggs filled with candy, sunday morning they will wake up with joy filled eyes as they look upon baskets filled with goodies. Many people will step foot into a church for the first time in months just because it is a holiday. People will go home, or wake up and start cooking and possibly cleaning for family to come over and share a massive meal of ham and other goodies. All this done to apparently celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus. Some who aren't even Christians will celebrate Easter, some for the pagan traditions such as the Equinox. Easter is a time we generally think about some things. It is somewhat the beginning of spring in some people's eyes: the beginning of something new, or rather the end of death and the beginning of new life.

Christ died on the Cross so that we could be forgiven of our sins. On that day he made us new. He gave us a promise of not only forgivenss and eternal life, but also understanding and acceptance, not by those around us but by him. We look at Easter as egg hunts, candy, meals and other random things, but is God really in those things? Can they give us the same promise that Christ did when he died on the cross? Each day we all deal with different hardships, different demons. But one Easter we are somehow able to push them all behind us and remember or focus on the promise of a new life that Jesus gave us the moment he was arrested in the garden.

Right now I am sitting outside and the dogs are running around like mad animals in the fresh air. In front of me is a tree beginning to blossom. I didn't notice the blossoms until now. Everything else is brown, there is a little green in the grass and the evergreen beside our house, but the white in the blossoms are what is standing out to me. Like the white in new robes. White of purity and innocence. It's the beginning of something new, a new life among the tree, and a new life among not only me, but many people around. Jesus gave a new perfect life, a chance at something we could only dream of before he died on the cross. Easter is not about egg hunts, a bunny leaving baskets of candy for children, the big huge dinners (though the time with family is incredibly important), but about the fact that we were given a precious gift. We were given the chance to bud into a new life like the tree in my yard.

Repenting/Confessions

I found this really cool activity for youth groups to do with the idea of relying on God and giving our sins to God. When we give our sins to God he takes care of them and we honestly should spend a little less time worrying about. We repent and ask for forgiveness and the try hard to not committ the same sin. But the idea for an activity is getting helium filled ballons and markers like a sharpie. Then give each of the youth a balloon and a marker and then have them write a sin the sturggle with on it, and say something like "Lord I ask you to take this sin from me" or even "Lord free me from this sin" Then they can let the balloons go and watch them float up towards heaven with the idea of releasing our sins to God and him taking them away.

When Jesus died on the cross; he died so that we may be forgiven of our sins, He took on our punishment for our sins. When we ask for forgiveness and repent of our sins, He is taking them from us, as if wiping the slate clean. When we repent and ask God to forgive us there is no reason to feel guilty and worry about the sin, but we should try our best to not sin again. Some people think that you can repent, sin again, repent, sin again, etc. But the point is to repent...mean it and then try not to commit the sin again, but God does understand we are human and He will forgive us. I like the idea of taking a balloon, writing a sin on it and like a small prayer and sending it up to God. It gives a nice visual of handing things over to God.

Rumors

Recently someone who used to be in my life said something pretty harsh and insulting on a myspace page. Luckily a friend of mine was able to fix it, but what was said still hurts and bothers me deeply. He challenged my integrity and basically my purity. I know and the people around me who know me best know that what said isnt true, but it still the respect behind the matter. We all deal with people saying not so nice things about us, some are harsh, rude and very insulting while others not so much. No matter what or how big or small the "rumor" could be it still hurts and bothers us. Sometimes we have a hard time dealing with the things people say to us or about us, but that is another time we need to rely on God for strength. Sometimes we want to retaliate and say something equally mean and insulting, but the best thing we can dois either ignore it or be the nicest person we can. Like the old saying "kill them with kindness."

One of the things we are told in the Bible is to not gossip ie do not spread rumors. What is the point in spreading rumors other than inflicting pain and hurt on the person the rumors are about. We all deal with rumors differently. I ranted and raved to several friends and then confronted the person who said the harsh words, but got no answer which I expected. Sometime confronting the person shows them that their words had no effect on us, even if they did. The point in dealing with rumors is to act like the bigger person as if we dont have time for something childish and immature. God wouldn't want us to spend time focusing on rumors or spreading them. How does that display God's love? How does that show acceptance and being non-judgemental?

Rumors are nothing but time wasters. Why waste our precious time on rumors? Whether they are about us or not? I have dealt with the rumor about me and moved on, and I know in the future there will most likely be more rumors and they will be handled in the same way. Sure it bothers me and hurts that people would want to try and cause harm, but I know I am fine good woman and that people saying these things are either jealous or ashamed of the pain they have caused in the past. There are always some underlying reason why people spread rumors and honestyly I don't fully understand it, but it is something we all deal with. I would rather not have to deal with it, but such is life right?

Mustard Seeds

There is a verse in the Bible that says if we have faith even as small as a mustard seed, we will be able to point to a mountain and tell it to move, and it would. Faith that would move mountains. I have thought about this verse many times because It says a lot about even the smallest of faiths. Sure I don't think I could point to Mt. Everst and make it move, but because of my faith in Christ I can move the mountains in my life. I can accomplish things that I set my mind to because I believe God is at my side helping me through it all. And I don't think I could have made it through half the things I have been through without my faith in God.

We all have different mountains that we face throughout life. It could be anything from an illness, umemployement, heartache, lose of a loved one and so much more. As long as we have faith the size of at least a mustard seed we can move those mountains. If it takes that small of faith to move mountains imagine what we could do with faith as big as a grape? or a watermelon? As our faith grows stronger and bigger we are able to accomplish more and more things. Bigger things that we never thought we could accomplish. We should really try to put more trust in our faith and our God than in our own devises, when we doubt our faith we are really doubting God. We need to learn to put more trust in God and learn to rely on him and our faith in Him through our troubled times. We will always have mountains in our lives sometimes they will be small other times they will be huge, but we need to rely on our faith to move those mountains and accomplish the things that we want to accomplish.