Lately I have been reading Fushigi Yuugi, the manga for my favorite anime. One if my favorite characters says something near the end of one volume. Chichiri told Tomahome (Taka), "that when you love another person, you open yourself up to the greatest happiness and the worst pain. The greater the love, the greater the doubt. Its a struggle within..."
I agree that when you love some, when you are willing to give someone your heart you open yourself up to unimaginable happiness. I cannot begin to describe the happiness I share with Tom. I never thought I could have this much happiness, didnt think I deserved it. But here I am, happiest I have ever been. Though at the same time I find myself doubting. Not Tom or his love for me, but that I am good enough for him.
Lately my emotions have been overwhelming for some reason and ive over-reacted to some things, simply because I worry that I am not good enough for him. Its like I am struggling with myself to not fear losing him, or to feel that I am not letting him down or failing him. I also realize how destructive it is that I think that I am not, that I dont deserve him. Tom makes me want to be a better woman, a better girlfriend. But can that desire and my insecurities do more damage?
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