Happy thoughts

One of the things I am working on with my client is coping skills for bring frustration and anger.  What we are doing is showing him a stop sign to help to stop and think of things that make him happy.   In the process I tell him some of my happy thoughts.

Sitting there talking about things that make him happy, makes me really think of tge things that make me happy on a daily basis.  While I am doing this I think hard on those things like Falcor laying his head on my lap anc meowing for me to pet him.  Its small but it really makes me smile.  I think about being able to come home to someone I love and see his smiling face.

When I spent this time, about 15 minutes I feel better.  I feel happier, even if my day was sheer crappiness.  I think that spending time everyday really thinking about something that makess me happy helps improve my line of thought.  It makes me focus on happier thoughts, even after I leave my clients.

Maybe I should make it a habit to focus on things that makd me happy more often, then maybe just maybe I could be free of this depression stuff.

Growl

SO lately I have been trying really hard to show Tom that I love him and have asked him to spend time with me and the such. When he comes downstairs he has his ipod in his ear and I can't really talk to him because he is listening to an audio book. I am at a loss of what to do. I made a very yummy dinner this evening and he sat long enough to eat then went back upstairs to his computer. I am wondering if he would rather spend time with him computer than me.

I know we live together and we do a lot of things together, but I am lonely when I sit downstairs watching television

Work Rant

There are things at every job that get on our nerves, things that make your skin crawl and wonder why some people do the jobs that they are doing. I ccannot really go into too much details about some of the things that happen at work because of confidentiality of my job. But most of you know that I work with children of various ages, and I simply love it. Even if there are days when I think I cannot continue to do it. But regardless, one of the things that annoys me and drives me insane is the people who are supposed to have the best interest of the child at heart, don't actually have it. There are people who have their own agenda and don't care who gets stepped on in the process even if it is a small child.

I have teachers who don't really teach and expect the kdis to know things when in reality there is no way they would know it. And when they do do something to "teach" the kids it is basically "here is a word, write it" when the kids don't even know how to write yet. Punishment and reward systems are a joke and not consistant. I have seen parents who walk away and basically let me "baby sit" their child when in reality I am an avocate and supposed to be showing these parents how to "listen" to their child's wants and needs. How can I accomplish that when the parent is sitting on their butt watching TV or talking on the phone when I am there?

I am glad one of my families is amazing. They honestly show what is important to them and fight for their son's rights and things he deserves. They are interested in my opinion and what I think would help their son improve in some of the skills that he is lacking. They listen to what I have to say and what their son says even if he isn't saying it the words we are normally used to saying. They learn and try to learn how to speak the language their son does because of his disability. They help me see why I do the job that I do. Why my heart is in this line of work in the first place. I just pray I can make as big a difference in my other client's life as I am in my other client's.

Thanks To Daddy

Lately I have been really thinking about things I am thankful and there are so many things that I tend to take for granted. People I take for granted and sometimes I think I need to just stop and acknowledge that I am thankful for them. I heard a song the other day on Pandora called "He Didn't Have To Be" and the gist of it was about a man who took on the role of being a father to a child who was not his. He became a dad when he didn't have to be. That song made me think of my dad. Some people know that he is not my biological father, but regardless of whose genetics I have; he is my father. Daddy married my mom when my brother and I were entering our teen years, so if you can picture two teen kids who didn't get along. What man would want to take that on? My dad did and he loves us as his own. In my opinion he has always been my dad, we just didn't know it at the time.

This man has been there for every heartache, every crisis no matter how big or how small. When I was diagnosed with cancer he would come home from work and take me to my treatments. He wanted to take me to all my treatments because that was his way of helping me get better when they both felt helpless. When I had my heart broken and didn't have someone for Valentine's Day, he would buy me a rose and tell me any guy would be lucky to have me and the guys who hurt me were just foolish. He is proud of the job I have that he tells everyone he meets that his daughter works with kids. He looks forward to walking down the isle and our daddy daughter dance. This man knows everything about me from who my best friend is and my favorite color to all my fears and weakness. The man I call my Dad is a man who was strong enough and kind enough to become a father he didn't have to be.

I honestly feel blessed and thank God everyday for the man I call my Dad. I am proud to say he is my daddy and smile everytime someone says I look like him. Although my genetics aren't his nor is my last name, but in my heart which is all that matters I am the daughter of Wayne Sutch and I couldn't be happier. Thank you for everything and being the dad you didn't have to be.