For the past few days Philippians 4:4 has been on my mind. It says Rejoice in the Lord always again I say rejoice. But sometimes rejoicing in God can be a hard thing to do especially when we are feeling at our weakest, when we feel depressed and well oppressed at the same time. When we are at our lowest it seems to take everything in us to simply read the Bible or pray to God let alone rejoicing in Him always.
The chapter proceeds to say Dont worry about anything: instead, pray about everything Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. (verse 6). Paul tells us not only do we need to rejoice in the Lord always, but we need to not worry and pray, and then to thank him for everything. Does he want us to thank God for the bad things in life? Thank God for the depression, oppression, cancer, death and more? When we are feeling the feelings we do as humans we find it hard to thank God when we are oppressed. Maybe we don't thank him for the badness we're feeling at the moment. I mean I thank God I went through cancer because I learned so much, but at the time I couldn't see the perverbial light at the end of the tunnel. So when Pauls says thank him for all he has done it is in my opinion that he's saying thank God for the past good and bad he has done since we learn from everything.
As we pray to God telling himthe things we end we should praise him and as verse 4 says Rejoice in the Lord...I repeat rejoice. Hard as it may be we need to rejoice in him and honestly when it seems to hard that's when we should turn to each other. I admit there are times when I feel like crap and don't want to read my Bible, pray and rejoice, but I know when I am with Todd I can see the meaning in rejoicing and in chats though it may seem meaningless to me some scripture have meaning to Todd and vise versa. I think that goes back to a Song of Solomon thing. Understanding each other and yet seeing the verses we both need to read and meditate on, even if it seems meaningless to us in our times of oppression.
So my dear friends: Rejoice in the Lord always...again I say Rejoice. and if you can't call someone who show you the light even if you don't see it right away.
Apr 30, 2008
Apr 29, 2008
Friends
To keep with the theme of what Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs) has to say about relationships I'm going to touch one of the most powerful portions of this book, and probably one of my favorite parts.
Song of Solomon 5:16 says His mouth is althogether sweet; he is lovely in every way. Such O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend. She referred to her lover as a FRIEND. We need to view our lovers as friends first then lover second. Some of the best marriages are because the couple view each other as friends and have open lines of communication as friends would. Think about it, if you can't tell your spouse things...who could you tell?
That partly goes with intimacy you develop intimacy and work and take the time to develop the strong friendship of a loving relationship. Then in marriage it's easier to keep the intimacy and communications open. To often people rush into marriage without that foundation of friendship and intimacy and things seem to be lost. A relationship that leads to marriage needs to have that friendship quality such as listening, sharing, understanding. Thats why the woman called Solomon her friend. Friendship makes a loving relationship deeper and far more satisfying and long lasting.
Song of Solomon 5:16 says His mouth is althogether sweet; he is lovely in every way. Such O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend. She referred to her lover as a FRIEND. We need to view our lovers as friends first then lover second. Some of the best marriages are because the couple view each other as friends and have open lines of communication as friends would. Think about it, if you can't tell your spouse things...who could you tell?
That partly goes with intimacy you develop intimacy and work and take the time to develop the strong friendship of a loving relationship. Then in marriage it's easier to keep the intimacy and communications open. To often people rush into marriage without that foundation of friendship and intimacy and things seem to be lost. A relationship that leads to marriage needs to have that friendship quality such as listening, sharing, understanding. Thats why the woman called Solomon her friend. Friendship makes a loving relationship deeper and far more satisfying and long lasting.
Apr 25, 2008
Perfection
Too often I see/hear people asking the same question: how can you change a man, or would you try and change your mate? Those are questions that some what surprise me sometimes not. I could never understand why people would try and change someone else. Song of Solomon touches on a subject slightly like this one.
Song of Solomon says "You are so beautiful, my beloved, so perfect in every part" (4:7). Solomon found perfection within his beloved no matter what her flaws could have been. He sees perfection within her and doesn't want to do anything to change who she is in any way. And he makes it a point to tell her that he sees her as perfect. All of chapter four in fact is him telling her of all the qualities he loves about her. He spends 15 verses describing her beauty in words like "a lovely orchard bearing precious fruit." He even says the scent of her clothes are like that of the cedar in Lebanon.
We shouldn't be trying to change someone we claim to love. We should love them for who they are and accept them for all their flaws no matter what they may be. Flaws help make us who we are. Our truest of loves, the love God designed just for us is perfect for us no matter what including their flaws. Who would we be without flaws? No body is absolutely perfect in every way, we all have flaws and we need to accept them in the one we love. That is part of loving someone unconditionally means. Loving someone the way love is describe in Song of Solomon.
We shouldn't be trying to change someone we claim to love. We should love them for who they are and accept them for all their flaws no matter what they may be. Flaws help make us who we are. Our truest of loves, the love God designed just for us is perfect for us no matter what including their flaws. Who would we be without flaws? No body is absolutely perfect in every way, we all have flaws and we need to accept them in the one we love. That is part of loving someone unconditionally means. Loving someone the way love is describe in Song of Solomon.
Apr 23, 2008
Intimacy
Yesterday I mentioned a little bit on Intimacy and what Song of Solomon said about it. After a discussion I had yesterday, I thought it would important to touch a little on it more today. There are more aspects to intimacy than a physical aspect of a relationship. There are different levels to intimacy: emotional, spiritual, intellectual.
Song of Solomon says don't rush. It takes time to develop a high level of intimacy on all those levels. Truest of love which is spoken about in the Biblical book. Is being satisfied on all levels. With Todd and I the desire for sexual intimacy is there, but because we have the intimacy on the emotional, spiritual and intellectual levels...it's not a need. We know because of he love we share something like is special, but we are so satisfied with each other on all other levels that we can easily wait and not rush it.
Its when people rush into sexual intimacy that the growth of intimacy ends. The focus of a relationship becomes sexual and nothing else. A Godly relationship looks to other things to grow closer. I honestly think Todd and I are closer through emotional, spiritual and intellectual intimacy than if we would be with sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy too early in a relationship takes away from all others, it tends to become the center of a relationship. Without focus on it and on the other forms of intimacy we can grow closer to God, and isn't that what we aspire to in the first place?
Sexual intimacy was designed to be saved for marriage, for a time when you've reached the highest point of intimacy a couple can: being joined together to share life. For when a couple has already built a strong foundation of emotional, intellectual and spiritual intimacy.
Don't rush things. The beauty in all forms of intimacy is letting it grow and flourish in it's own time not your's. Allow intimacy in any form bloom when the time is right, focus on that, there is no need to think about sexual intimacy...that's not the focus of any relationship...God is and growing together in emotional, intellectual and spiritual intimacy allows us to also grow closer to God.
Song of Solomon says don't rush. It takes time to develop a high level of intimacy on all those levels. Truest of love which is spoken about in the Biblical book. Is being satisfied on all levels. With Todd and I the desire for sexual intimacy is there, but because we have the intimacy on the emotional, spiritual and intellectual levels...it's not a need. We know because of he love we share something like is special, but we are so satisfied with each other on all other levels that we can easily wait and not rush it.
Its when people rush into sexual intimacy that the growth of intimacy ends. The focus of a relationship becomes sexual and nothing else. A Godly relationship looks to other things to grow closer. I honestly think Todd and I are closer through emotional, spiritual and intellectual intimacy than if we would be with sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy too early in a relationship takes away from all others, it tends to become the center of a relationship. Without focus on it and on the other forms of intimacy we can grow closer to God, and isn't that what we aspire to in the first place?
Sexual intimacy was designed to be saved for marriage, for a time when you've reached the highest point of intimacy a couple can: being joined together to share life. For when a couple has already built a strong foundation of emotional, intellectual and spiritual intimacy.
Don't rush things. The beauty in all forms of intimacy is letting it grow and flourish in it's own time not your's. Allow intimacy in any form bloom when the time is right, focus on that, there is no need to think about sexual intimacy...that's not the focus of any relationship...God is and growing together in emotional, intellectual and spiritual intimacy allows us to also grow closer to God.
Apr 22, 2008
Relationships
There is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to love and what a perfect love should be like. Song Of Solomon (or Song of Songs in some Bibles) is one of my favorite books. I have read so many times, and just love reading it more. It talks about the relationship between two people and how it should be like, how they should express love and act and react to one another.
The purpose of love and relationships aren't to get what you want, but to do what you can to please the other person even if it means sacrificing something of yourself. Compromise is so important in a relationship. Its a solution that makes both parties happy, other times relish in doing something the other wants...is that so bad to endulge in something your lover likes to do? Support...be supportive of one another. Song of Solomon says we should be a refuge place not a place of stress for someone we love. We should be the one person our true love can come to and depend on and trust for strength when they are weak.
Song of Solomon also address the subject of sex and intimacy. Solomon says "Promise me....not to awaken love until the time is right" (2:7). Love creates emotions a desires that are natural, but too often people are in a hurry to build a relationship and have a certain intimacy that takes time. We need to take the time to get to know someone to love them for who they are learn what it means to truly love another as God loves us. Love needs to grow before one turns to imtimacy which is way God designated something so imtimate as sex for marriage alone. We cannot force that level of inimacy or rush it...it needs to come naturally and slowly. Not at our pace like everything else in this world.
The purpose of love and relationships aren't to get what you want, but to do what you can to please the other person even if it means sacrificing something of yourself. Compromise is so important in a relationship. Its a solution that makes both parties happy, other times relish in doing something the other wants...is that so bad to endulge in something your lover likes to do? Support...be supportive of one another. Song of Solomon says we should be a refuge place not a place of stress for someone we love. We should be the one person our true love can come to and depend on and trust for strength when they are weak.
Song of Solomon also address the subject of sex and intimacy. Solomon says "Promise me....not to awaken love until the time is right" (2:7). Love creates emotions a desires that are natural, but too often people are in a hurry to build a relationship and have a certain intimacy that takes time. We need to take the time to get to know someone to love them for who they are learn what it means to truly love another as God loves us. Love needs to grow before one turns to imtimacy which is way God designated something so imtimate as sex for marriage alone. We cannot force that level of inimacy or rush it...it needs to come naturally and slowly. Not at our pace like everything else in this world.
Apr 16, 2008
Forgiveness
I just had an interesting conversation about forgiveness. It's funny how we want people to always forgive us, but do we forgive people as easily as we expect them to forgive us? Sometimes we are able to forgive the situation, but not the person. Why is it that we hold on to grudges for so long and find it easy to forgive one person and not another? Do we have criteria for forgiving people? Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins. This man died so that we may have eternal life with God, and yet we can't forgive someone for something they may have done.
To God there is only one thing that is unforgivable that is blasphemy, if we deny Him. But to us as humans we find so many things unforgivable. I know a woman who forgave her boyfriend for cheating on her. How many of us can say we can forgive a spouse for cheating? I know women, myself included, who have forgiven men who raped us. Something so big as that, we can find it in us to forgive and that yes gives us more strength than we can imagine. Forgiving doesn't always lead to forgetting, but it leads to healing. God wants us to forgive as He forgave us, that means we need to sacrifice something like our own self pride to simply say "I forgive you." But simply because we forgive something doesn't mean we say it's o-kay.
Often times we can forgive a situation, but not the person, but why is that. Why can some people forgive the situation of lying, cheating, stealing, choosing the wrong path, but not the other person? Why can't we let go of things? We would be so much better if we forgive and let go. We would be able to focus more of our attention on more important things like our faith, walk, and service to God. Holding a grudge can hinder our relationship with God and really who wants that? I sure don't.
In my last post I mentioned the innocence of Children and God saying we need to be like them. Think back to childhood did we hold grudges then? NO. A simple "I'm sorry" worked and we forgave and were the best of friends again (remember how everyone was our best friend?) Anyway. We need to work more on forgiving people and healing our hurts and focusing that energy on God and our service to Him. Who knows if we forgive more, there would be less hate in the world. But after all we're only human so could something like total forgiveness of everything exist? Maybe...maybe not.
To God there is only one thing that is unforgivable that is blasphemy, if we deny Him. But to us as humans we find so many things unforgivable. I know a woman who forgave her boyfriend for cheating on her. How many of us can say we can forgive a spouse for cheating? I know women, myself included, who have forgiven men who raped us. Something so big as that, we can find it in us to forgive and that yes gives us more strength than we can imagine. Forgiving doesn't always lead to forgetting, but it leads to healing. God wants us to forgive as He forgave us, that means we need to sacrifice something like our own self pride to simply say "I forgive you." But simply because we forgive something doesn't mean we say it's o-kay.
Often times we can forgive a situation, but not the person, but why is that. Why can some people forgive the situation of lying, cheating, stealing, choosing the wrong path, but not the other person? Why can't we let go of things? We would be so much better if we forgive and let go. We would be able to focus more of our attention on more important things like our faith, walk, and service to God. Holding a grudge can hinder our relationship with God and really who wants that? I sure don't.
In my last post I mentioned the innocence of Children and God saying we need to be like them. Think back to childhood did we hold grudges then? NO. A simple "I'm sorry" worked and we forgave and were the best of friends again (remember how everyone was our best friend?) Anyway. We need to work more on forgiving people and healing our hurts and focusing that energy on God and our service to Him. Who knows if we forgive more, there would be less hate in the world. But after all we're only human so could something like total forgiveness of everything exist? Maybe...maybe not.
Apr 7, 2008
Child-like Innocence
This weekend I spent the day (Saturday) at the Carnegie Science Center in Pittsburgh. It was a day of fun because Saturday happened to be my one year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer. But anyway..after leaving the planetarium, Todd wanted to look at the miniature railroad, I admit it was really cool. But at one point this little boy, he couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old. First he said hi, then he was asking where Thomas the Train Engine was. After a little while he started calling out to Thomas. It was so cute, but it got me thinking.
It didn't take much to excite this little boy. All he wanted was to see a little train and he was so excited when he finally got to see it. He didn't care that he didn't know me or anything he just started talk to me as if he did. He even tried to hold my hand (it was so cute!), but God tells us we need to have the innocence of children. Children are so innocent and have worry free minds. They don't see race or color or anything else. They view everyone as the same, which we are with a few differences to make the world a little more special.
Children don't find faults with every person that they meet. They see the good in everyone, and isn't that what we are supposed to do? We're not supposed to judge people, and yet as adults that seems to be all we ever do is judge someone for one reason or another. Children forgive each other so easily...just say "I'm sorry" and you're forgiven. Why can't adults do that? Why must we hold grudges for long periods of time?
It's time we look at young children like the little boy at the science center and view people without flaws, get excited over the little things God does, and be able to forgive easier than we normally do.
It didn't take much to excite this little boy. All he wanted was to see a little train and he was so excited when he finally got to see it. He didn't care that he didn't know me or anything he just started talk to me as if he did. He even tried to hold my hand (it was so cute!), but God tells us we need to have the innocence of children. Children are so innocent and have worry free minds. They don't see race or color or anything else. They view everyone as the same, which we are with a few differences to make the world a little more special.
Children don't find faults with every person that they meet. They see the good in everyone, and isn't that what we are supposed to do? We're not supposed to judge people, and yet as adults that seems to be all we ever do is judge someone for one reason or another. Children forgive each other so easily...just say "I'm sorry" and you're forgiven. Why can't adults do that? Why must we hold grudges for long periods of time?
It's time we look at young children like the little boy at the science center and view people without flaws, get excited over the little things God does, and be able to forgive easier than we normally do.
Apr 3, 2008
Appreciation
There are many different things that make any relationship work whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship. Communication of course is the biggest thing that makes a relationship work, not just talking, but hearing and understanding. If one person doesn't hear or understand the other honestly how can the relationship make it a substantial amount of time? Trust, respect, and honesty of course are also things that help make a relationship work. Without those things any relationship is obviously doomed.
What is more important in a relationship: common interest or common issues? Common issues meaning understand the pains of struggling through life and having various different heartaches that many other people wouldn't understand. Common issues allow each person to not just understand but appreciate why each other are the way they are. We can see where each other came from and see how we can be so strong in various different ways or why we have the outlook on life that we do. Someone who doesn't have any "dis-function:" about them wouldn't understand why those of us who have struggled and had hardship think the way we do. It's important in a relationship to understand each other and see where we are coming from on the different issues that occur.
With common interests that just allows each person to be able to experience something new. I have never been to a pipe organ concert, but because Todd loves music and appreciates different types we went to one. I can honestly say it was a unique experience, but I highly enjoyed myself and I can see why he loves music. We decided music is poetry with notes instead of words. But back to the subject at hand...because he likes music and things dealing with it, i can experience things that I have never thought I would. I appreciate the things he likes more because I am learning about them from him.
I think when we learn something new from someone else it means much more and we can learn to appreciate those things more. I guess everything boils down to how much we appreciate each other and if we take things for granted or not. If one partner takes the other for granted and doesn't appreciate them..the relationship will never work no matter if it's a romantic one, friendship or even family.
What is more important in a relationship: common interest or common issues? Common issues meaning understand the pains of struggling through life and having various different heartaches that many other people wouldn't understand. Common issues allow each person to not just understand but appreciate why each other are the way they are. We can see where each other came from and see how we can be so strong in various different ways or why we have the outlook on life that we do. Someone who doesn't have any "dis-function:" about them wouldn't understand why those of us who have struggled and had hardship think the way we do. It's important in a relationship to understand each other and see where we are coming from on the different issues that occur.
With common interests that just allows each person to be able to experience something new. I have never been to a pipe organ concert, but because Todd loves music and appreciates different types we went to one. I can honestly say it was a unique experience, but I highly enjoyed myself and I can see why he loves music. We decided music is poetry with notes instead of words. But back to the subject at hand...because he likes music and things dealing with it, i can experience things that I have never thought I would. I appreciate the things he likes more because I am learning about them from him.
I think when we learn something new from someone else it means much more and we can learn to appreciate those things more. I guess everything boils down to how much we appreciate each other and if we take things for granted or not. If one partner takes the other for granted and doesn't appreciate them..the relationship will never work no matter if it's a romantic one, friendship or even family.
Apr 1, 2008
Going The Distance
Several months ago I had a discussion with someone about what it means to go the distance for love. What is really going to the distance? What does that mean? What is the distance? Is it different for each person? How can one say another did not in fact go the distance for love or even for a friendship? My "distance" is different from the "distance" of someone else. No one can know what the distance is except for you.
Is someone who isn't willing to enter a long distance relationship not going the distance for love? Is someone who isn't willing to give up the dream of a family not going the distance? Really who decides what the distance truly is between two people? If it's love then the distance is anything and is as big as the sky is possible. And if there is a "distance" for love...is there a distance for friendship? Can a person not go the distance for the sake of friendship?
If a person forsakes the friendship for one reason or another is that not going the distance for that friendship? If one person enters a relationship and the other writes them off, how is that going the distance? If a friendship means as much as each person said wouldn't they want to the other to be happy and rather have the friendship rather than nothing at all? Or am I just odd because I would push my feelings aside to see my friends as happy as they can be.
Wouldn't any normal person want their friends to be happy even if it ends up that another person makes them happy? What makes a person willing and able to end a friendship as if it meant nothing at all?
Is someone who isn't willing to enter a long distance relationship not going the distance for love? Is someone who isn't willing to give up the dream of a family not going the distance? Really who decides what the distance truly is between two people? If it's love then the distance is anything and is as big as the sky is possible. And if there is a "distance" for love...is there a distance for friendship? Can a person not go the distance for the sake of friendship?
If a person forsakes the friendship for one reason or another is that not going the distance for that friendship? If one person enters a relationship and the other writes them off, how is that going the distance? If a friendship means as much as each person said wouldn't they want to the other to be happy and rather have the friendship rather than nothing at all? Or am I just odd because I would push my feelings aside to see my friends as happy as they can be.
Wouldn't any normal person want their friends to be happy even if it ends up that another person makes them happy? What makes a person willing and able to end a friendship as if it meant nothing at all?
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